Pop(ular)

As a devoted and self-pronounced music appreciator (would would kick major ass on Music Jeopardy), I could write NOVELS about the state of pop music and its swift decline into the mundane, trashy lyrics and overused beats we hear all over the radio now.

Remember when the "good music" was also the "pop(ular...remember where that term comes from) music"? When really musically talented bands like Dave Matthews, Pearl Jam, Silverchair, and Counting Crowes (the list goes on and on) released a song and it hit Number 1 on the Mtv AND the Billboard Charts?

A small part of me still yearns for those days- when music was at a definite high- grunge and alternative were everywhere and all over the charts. There was REAL music with guitars and true instrumentation and lyrics that meant something. And sure, that music exists now...but now it's called "indie". Remember when music like that ruled the pop(ular) charts? I long for those days. When good music was awarded with mainstream success.

Hip hop and the boy band craze changed the scene of pop(ular) music. It really did. And while I hated the boy bands (and still do) and think that they lowered the standards for pop music...I am a true hip-hop fan so I hate to see where hip-hop has gone.

Hip-hop, in recent years, has gone to this strange place. In the days of Public Enemy and L.L. Cool J (the OLD L.L......"Mama Said Knock You Out" L.L.) hip-hop was just coming to the forefront- it MEANT something. The artists were trying to say something other than how many cars they drove and "bitches and hos" they could slap. It wasn't about what it is now....NOW it seems like the purpose of POPULAR hip-hop is just to prove how much bling you own and "shorties" you've got..and it's filthy. I hate to imagine the kids that are at home listening to it...on the RADIO no less. Shit like that would never be played on the radio when I was a kid. It's annoying. And I know that there still exists hip-hop that means something- The Roots, Common, Jurassic 5, and others still represent real-hip-hop to me. I love them. But popular hip-hop has gone to a very nasty (literally) place.

But my point isn't to slam pop music in this entry. I actually wanted to praise a few artists that are starting to send pop back uphill from this deep and nasty hole it's fallen into. Here are my song download recommendations for your pop enjoyment:


Kenna- "Say Goodbye to Love"
Ethiopian-born singer. Mentored by Pharrel. Pharrel is amazing, and so is this guy. This song makes me want to dance.

Mika- "Grace Kelly" and "Big Girls You are Beautiful"
If you haven't heard Mika yet, YOU MUST. He sounds like Freddie Mercury and his songs are fun fun fun. They all make me want to dance in my undies.

M.I.A.- "Paper Planes" and "Bucky Done Gone"
She's a rapper from Sri Lanka. Very political. Very controversial. Paper Planes has been getting a lot of attention lately because the song features gun shots underscored by children singing. Of course, Americans love it, but for all the wrong reasons. M.I.A. said she wanted to put the most offensive and ghetto shit in a song and American's would go crazy for it because they love money and all things gangsta. We're stupid. She proves it. Well done, M.I.A.

Jenny Owen Youngs- "F&%K Was I"
Another British import- very self-deprecating and talented. I'm still trying to figure out how I didn't write this song.

Leona Lewis- "Bleeding Love"
Another Brit. But she's definitely pop. She was the winner of British Idol. She makes me HATE American Idol because she's actually good.

That's it for now I guess. All my praises and love to women singer-songwriters, who are doing it up bigtime this year- Sara Bareilles, Anna Nalick, Amy Winehouse, Regina Spektor, Colbie Colliat, Jenny Owen Youngs, Imogen Heap. Well done ladies. You're making me proud to be a female, which happens rarely.

AND REMEMBER- "Pop" music is only "pop" music because we make it that way. It's POPULAR. So support those great artists who are not just part of the "music industry machine" created to make "hits" on synthesizers.

WE. MAKE. POP(ULAR). MUSIC. POP(ULAR). MUSIC.

Wiz.

Live from Chicago- It's...me and some buddies from class!

Well..big news babies....

I am part of a 5-person improv show running at Second City's Skybox Theatre from February 23 through March 22 on Saturday nights!

You may be wondering.....

Lindsay- how did this happen in such short time? How does this work? What is the deal?

Well, here is the answer.....

Every term, Second City plans the upcoming show season by accepting proposals. There are 3 theater's at Second City, and they all have slots to be filled throughout the week. So, each term they accept hundreds of show proposals. You may only submit a proposal if you are a current student or graduate from one of their programs. There are also certain limitations as to what slots are available to you (prime times are reserved for graduates, certain nights must be sketch comedy versus improv comedy, etc.).

Well, there are 4 guys in my Conservatory class that I just love working with and that I think are amazing. They are certainly my favs to work with in class. They are all so different too, which makes it interesting. We have a Jew, a gentile, a gay, an actor.....and me. Anyway- I approached them all to see if they wanted to possibly cook up an idea for a proposal.

Well, they were very interested and we worked hard cooking up an idea, and then got the blessing of my friend Mike Descoteaux, who is the musical director for Second City. Anyway, he endorsed us and helped us with the proposal...and wah la! We have a show.

The show is going to be, like, a documentary/mockumentary....basically we will be using the documentary style to create a show about a fictional small town- we will create the town and conflict from suggestions from the audience. It will be a little like Laramie Project style...but not so intense. We don't want to make fun of serious subject matter like that. But we do want to use the style. We will be playing townspeople, interviewers...the whole thing will revolve around documenting a fictional event provided by the audience. Here is what we hope happens when getting suggestions:


Us:
"Is there anyone who had anything that they really looked forward to in their hometown as a kid?"

Audience member:
"Yes...Dalton Defender Days"

(this is a real event that happens in my hometown of Coffeyville where they reenact the day that the townspeople shot and killed the Dalton Boys gang as they tried to rob the bank. Hilarious)

Us:

"Interesting. Tell us about it."


Anyway...that is the idea. And we would get, like, a gist of what Dalton Defender Days was and create a show around it. Can potentially be pretty funny stuff....we hope at least.



So...anyway....I have a show. You should come see it. Saturday nights in February/March. Second City.


Hugs.

Wiz



Lins

Not coming home

Well, what was originally a 3 hour tour has left me stranded on this island. And, by stranded, I mean gainfully employed as a travel agent, which will allow me to do a little globe-trotting on the company dime, and living in a mansion on a hillside. Kin eyn ahora! No, that wasn't Hawaiian it's Yiddish. Chanukkah was lovely, by the way, thanks for asking.

So, I guess I'll be reporting on beaches for quite some time now. Oh, let me do that. I went to a new one last weekend: Pipeline on the North Shore. There was supposed to be a pro surf competition, but it got cancelled because we can't seem to get any good waves on the weekends anymore. However, there were still folk out risking life and limb to be one with the water. And, it was a lot of fun to watch. The sand there is of moderate softness. Not as soft as Lanikai, but not as harsh as Gray's. It was probably on par with Sandy Beach or Makapu'u. Oh, and plenty of eye candy. Unfortunately, the postponed competition was sponsored primarily by Billabong, and they left up their huge entrance signs, thus attracting every douchebag that drove by. What type of douchebag? You ask. Well, let me try to give you an example in an essay I've entitled Look At My Aloha Shirt

Wow! Yeah. I am so Pumped to be on this rad beach in Hawaii!! Those fuckers back in Des Moines don't know what they're Missing! Oh yeah, let me take off my muscle shirt here so the ladies can get a better view of my ripped arms and so-so midsection. Dude, pumping iron is way cooler than doing sit ups. Woah, dude. Look at those gnarley waves. Shakka! Dude, shut up. I totally own this beach. You're the one who looks like a pussy putting on all that sun screen. Oh yeah, this tribal arm band tatoo totally makes me look like a local and not a douchebag. Man, I would make those assclowns look like total retards if I had a surfboard. But, instead, I'll sit here on my hotel towel and drink a Coors Light. Maybe in a little while, I'll walk along the shoreline and check out all the hot chicks. Dude, how do these guys live here full time? I'm already at half-mast and these girls aren't even oiled up yet! Hey dudes, let's go swim in the breaks. It can't be that hard. What does that fucking lifeguard know anyway? I should go knock him off his stupid 4 wheeler. Dude, I would look so fucking cool riding that thing up and down the beach. Oh, hey ladies. How are you? You want some beer? Oh yeah, I totally live around here. Actually, I have a winter home just down the road. Yeah, me and my buds are just out here for the week. Gotta get back to the states on Tuesday. Hey, where are you going? Fucking bitches. Fuck those cunts. They don't know what they're missing out on. And what the hell did they mean by calling me a Howlie. I am totally looking like a local right now!

The End.

Okay, I've got to get back to travel agenting.

Mahalo.

-NS

Reality TV on the Real---- It's Been a While

Okay guys....so I'm more pumped than ever about Reality TV!

I know I haven't written about Reality TV in a while...but I had to slow down my reality TV-watching schedule the past 2 months because I got a job. So stupid. I should never have gotten one.

So, let's talk about where all of my favorite shows stand:




America's Next Top Model------- Wednesday's 8/7 central CW

Okay so all of my predictions were wrong. I'll admit it. Victoria (the Yale student) went home. Lisa (the stripper) went home (she was my prediction for winner), and my favorite (Janet) went home as well. While it's sad that all of my favorite girls were exiled, what's EVEN MORE sad is that this show has just gotten BORING. And here's why- not enough catty bitching and fights. This season was a real letdown in the catty bitch department. I watch this show for one reason- hot bitches fighting over stupid shit that I find completely laughable. The biggest conflict in the house was that one of the contestants (Heather) suffered from Asperger's Syndrome and all of the girls were annoyed by her. And this legitimately pissed me off. It did. Because they kept calling her "weird" and "awkward" but didn't have the decency to try to comprehend that THAT IS WHAT ASPERGER'S IS! You are socially awkward and isolated. They hated it when she got extra help (like someone feeding her lines for a commercial).....but the fact of the matter is- she has a legitimate DISABILITY! Anyway- the reason that that conflict didn't satisfy me in the catty bitch department is because someone being insensitive and understanding to someone with Asperger's Syndrome actually pisses me off and gets me emotionally involved. The normal catty bitchiness delivered by ANTM is just pointless, arrogant, bickering between hot idiots. That's mindless entertainment, not something that I lose sleep over. But that thing with Heather really pissed me off. So...this season was a letdown. That said- I think Bianca is going to win. She's a bitch. And she's arrogant. And she was mean as hell to Heather. But I think she'll win. I can't say for sure though. Screw this season. I don't care anymore.






Bianca= super insensitive






And on another note- Tyra annoys me more than ever right now. I KNOW that her intentions are good. I know that she's probably a good person. But she thinks she knows EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING and she also has this amazing way of being able to make every conversation turn into something about herself or her experiences. And then she takes the opportunity to impart us with all of her "wisdom" or some adage that she created. She told one girl this season (almost word-for-word)--- You know what I do when I'm having a bad day and I need to turn it around? I do something I like to call "compartmentalizing". I just take those bad experiences and I put them in the back of my mind and and deal with them later. I put on a happy face for the moment and just do what I have to do. Later I might cry and be depressed. But for the moment I just "compartmentalize" it.
Wow, Tyra. You're such a genius. How did you ever think of that? And you NAMED IT? What a genius. I love it when people take a completely well-known thing and then they make it their own by saying "I like to call". Have you ever thought about being a psychiatrist? You should. You pretty much pretend to be one on your show, The Tyra Banks Show, already. Update! Since I started writing this Saleisha was named the winner. Boring.




I Love New York 2------ Monday's 9/8 central VH1

Okay, so this show makes me groan and laugh more than ever. Could New York BE more of a caraciture of a person than she was in the past? The answer is yes. She is not even a real human anymore. This show gives me so much joy when she says things like

Guys...I am being so sincere right now. If you doubt that I'm being geniune than you can just walk out that door"

New York- I've doubted your sincerity from the moment I saw you. You are an actress playing the role of the craziest most irrational bitch I have ever seen.




And on a similar note...could she BE more gross and skanky? On the show they always talk about how beautiful she is. Am I crazy or is New York the exact opposite of beautiful?






And what makes me most sad about the fact that New York is more disgusting and fake than ever before is that this season she has some SERIOUSLY HOT AND ACCOMPLISHED MEN on the show.




This guy, Pretty, walked out calling her a crazy bitch. I was so happy. He is beautiful. And a law student who worked for Bill Clinton. That the eff was he doing on this show? Thank god he got the hell out while he still could.




















But HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE! This guy, nickname Buddha, is an actor who has had small roles on several TV shows. He is also a life coach and model and he is also beautiful and articulate. I hope to god that he's just playing another role on this show...because if he ends up with that crazy bitch he will regret it for the rest of his life.





This guy, Punk, I don't personally find attractive, but he IS very accomplished. He graduated from Harvard Law. He is a lawyer and body-builder. He also seems VERY SINCERE when he says that he loves New York and wants to be with her. IS HE FUCKING NUTS? Plus- he's got a white momma, and when she visited the show she was VERY UNHAPPY that he was there. All I have to say is- get a prenup.


























And what about this Master of Douchbaggery, Tailor-Made. He's a wealthy fashion planner. Honestly, he's the one that I think should end up with her. Why? He's rich. He loves that he's rich. He wants to shower her with riches. He wants New York to tell him what to do and wants her to own his ass. He's a complete character. They are both characters who only want someone to play off of. They are a match made in heaven. Morons.









Update! Punk was eliminated on Monday!



Beauty and the Geek------ Tuesday's 8/7 central CW


I'm glad it's over. I stated in my original Reality TV post how pissed off I was about the fact that one of the contestants was an actor (Sam Horrigan). Turns out it wasn't a twist- he was a legitimate contestant. And he made it to the final 2 teams. Pissed! But he didn't win. I was so happy when Josh and Jasmine won. So cute! Josh was the LARPER from Boston. I loved him.

I read a lot of articles about how people felt concerning actor Sam Horrigan being a contestant. He's a legitimate actor who has appeared on Desperate Housewives and several other shows recently. A lot of people felt that it was okay that he was an actor because the rules of the show don't require that the "Beauty" contestants be unintelligent- the only qualification is that they are hot. So the fact that Sam is an actor and obviously a fairly intelligent person (who can at least grasp the idea of playing a role and memorize lines and, consequently, be something he is not and play the role of a "beauty" on the show) DOESN'T MATTER because he's hot- and that's the rule of the game.

But....I don't agree. I think we all know that the insinuation on Beauty and the Geek is that "Beauty" the contestants are hot and REALLY STUPID and traditionally get by on their looks....just like the "Geeks" are very smart but not very attractive (from society's standards..not mine. Nerds are hot!). I mean- the producers would never cast a really hot nerd on the show. Because we all know that when we watch the show we want to see nerdy, socially awkward, generally unattractive "Geeks". That's the name of the game. That's the spirit of the game at least even if it isn't in the "rules."

So I remain pissed about the season. We'll see what happens next season and if I continue to watch it. Stupid Ashton Kutcher (he's a producer).



The Biggest Loser--------- 8/7 central NBC

I still love this show. I'm not going to recap it or talk about it because it's pretty boring from a "what happened on this episode?" standpoint. The exciting part is the weigh-ins and the weight that these people lose. It's amazing and I seriously sometimes tear up when I watch it. I don't know who's going to win and I don't care. Because they all pretty much win, don't they?

Ugh. I love Biggest Loser. I can't wait for the finale! I think it's next episode? Not sure. I hope so though.




The Real World- Sydney---------10/9 central MTV

Wow. What a crazy season. So many things have happened since I last blogged. First of all- Shavon...the girl with huge boobs and a "journalism career" in California WENT HOME. Her ex-boyfriend gave her an ultimatum- come home and we can be together or stay there and there's not chance. She left. Nuts. Can I say though that I would have made the same choice? I mean...what means more to you- the person that you could spend the rest of your life with or a stupid reality show? The choice is obvious to me. Cameron disagrees. He thinks the guy was being controlling. Whatever. We agree to disagree.

Anyway- the most AWESOME thing that happened this season is that the Christian hypocrite Trisha (remember her?) physically assaulted a cast member, said some really cold-hearted shit afterwards, and was sent home. Hmmm... that doesn't seem very Christian does it? A Christian acting like a huge hypocrite? Weird!

But on a happier note...the more I watch the show the more I want to hang out with Isaac. How cool is that fucking guy? I want him to be my best friend. I really do.









Isaac- I want to party with you!








So, now that Trisha is gone...the season is actually starting to be interesting. Dunbar cheated on his girlfriend back at home with the new roommate, Ashley. So that's...par for the course on Real World I suppose. Cohutta thought he got Kelly Anne pregnant last episode. Basically- everyone is getting laid by someone in the house...except Parisa. That poor girl. At least she can leave knowing that she didn't act skanky I guess.


Kid Nation--- Wednesdays 8/7 central CBS

The finale was this Wednesday...and it was so adorable! These kids were so adorable, and while most of the shows I watch just make me feel a little disgusted about the world and the shape it's in- Kid Nation makes me feel all snuggly inside. They gave $50,000 away to 3 kids at the finale...and it was pretty heart-wrenching. I loved it. If they have a second season of this show I will definitely be watching...


Project Runway---- Wednesdays 10/9 central Bravo


So glad this show is back! It's more awesome than ever. The craziest thing about this season is that it began with 7 guys...and only one of them was straight. I know what you're thinking- "it's fashion design...aren't they all gay?" The answer is no! Last season's winner- Jeffrey- was as straight as an arrow. And really good. But, personally, I think that the gay makes you a little better. So I think this season has potential to be really good. I am picking my choice for winner- Rami.


Rami. He's good. Really good.

















And who gets my vote for most gay? Christian. Christian is more feminine than any girl I have ever met in my life. That's saying a lot I think. He's adorable...but bizarre to listen to and watch because you don't feel like you're watching a gay man...you feel like you're watching a girl. He's good too. He's only 19. And he's super-arrogant. It's that extra gay that put him a cut above the rest!










Christian = the fiercest bitch ever!












Intervention----- 9/8 central A&E


That's right babies- my favorite show is back! If you're not a watcher, you must start immediately. You know what this show makes me think? It makes me realize that when I teach my kids about drugs I'm NOT going to say

Don't do drugs. They are bad.

I'm going to say:

Don't do drugs...because they are SO GOOD. So good, in fact, that they will make you give up your friends, family, job, assets, and life. So don't even try them once because you will just want to get that amazing feeling again...and it will consume your life.


Anyway- the show doesn't only deal with interventions regarding drugs. It deals with alcohol, and eating disorders too. It's an intriguing show. Truly is. Watch it. The season just started.




That's it. TV is evil and consumes my free time.

Hugs.

Wiz

Always a Bridesmaid...

Okay, I need help again.

This is my first (and last) time getting married, and there is one thing that I am perplexed about:

Bridesmaid dress procedures.


I keep getting different advice on the subject, and what I really want to know is:

Who pays for the bridesmaid dresses? Does the bride's family pay or do the individual bridesmaids pay? I feel like we are supposed to pay, but a lot of people have said that the bridesmaids pay. What is the deal? How can I get a final verdict on what is appropriate and/or kosher when it comes to paying for the bridesmaid dresses?

Help me.

Wiz

P.S. Does cost matter? Because mine are costing about $130 each and I'm having 6 bridesmaids. (I know, ridiculous)

Watch This Shit. Thank Me Later.

If you do nothing else today, you MUST watch this. Hilarious.

"I get nervous in social situations motha fucka!"

Christmas Schmismas

In all my 25 years, I have spent every Christmas with nearly every member of my large immediate family.

Not this Christmas.

For the first time in 25 years, I can't make the trip home to my parent's house in Kansas. I'm kinda sad about it to say the least. Even though every time I see them they usually just end up pissing me off...I still rely on my family for all of their wit, brutal honesty, and dysfunction. So, I'm very sad about not being able to spend the holiday with them to say the least. I seriously started crying today at work when the Christmas music was playing. It was pathetic. And I still have 26 days to go. Fortunately I have a wonderful fiancee and dog to spend the holiday with. And we might even buy Jackie a hilarious doggy Christmas outfit. So that's some compensation.

On a lighter note, the following Christmas songs WILL NOT make you sad. Download them. They really do exist.

Christmas in the Hollis by Run DMC

Hark the Herald Angels Sing hummed by the Peanuts gang

One More Sleep 'Til Christmas by Kermit the Frog

Barenaked Ladies w/ Sarah McLachlan- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

and lastly...

Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk this Christmas by John Denver



hugs.


Wiz

A tofurkey won't run off with your girlfriend and break your heart.

Hello everyone.  I hope you're recovering nicely from your tryptophan comas.  I didn't have one this year because tofurkey doesn't contain tryptophan.  That's right.  I stuck up my nose at the patriotic tradition of eating turkey on the 3rd Thursday in November.  Ooops!  But, please don't feel sorry for me.  The 100% vegan dinner that I cooked was amazing.  And, I got the thumbs up from 3 meat eaters as well. 

With my new sense of moral superiority, I feel that I am now qualified to give you all a list of things you could have done with your turkeys besides stripping them naked and shoving bread crumbs in their asses (I know, I know, it's technically in their neck holes but 'neck holes' just didn't have the same ring that 'asses' did).  Okay, on with the list:

1.  . . . 

Well, that was a short list.  Turkeys are pretty damn useless for anything other than slow cooking.  I mean, it's not like you could tie a leash around one and go trolling for booty at the dog park with it.  With anyone you might attract, you'd have to wonder if they were really into you or just waiting around for dinner.

Okay, enough from me.  Hooray vegan Thanksgiving.  

-NS

Green Team!

Have you seen this yet? You should.

Listen closely for the line "I just got a murder boner!"



Wiz

Just a thought...

The other day I walked by a homeless shelter/Salvation Army type spot where people were in line to receive some living supplies- "care packages" you might call them.

As I passed the line, I was amazed at how many young mothers I saw there with their babies--- they were all different colors and creeds but were united by a common thread: the look of immaturity and resentment.

And I felt bad for a minute. I felt sorry for them. But then...I didn't anymore; because upon further observing the mothers and their children I thought to myself---- "Maybe you should stop buying your baby $80 Air Jordan's and and designer Rocawear jackets and buy them some fucking baby food and diapers."

Just a thought...


Wiz

Message from Deanimal

I know it's been awhile, I hope I'm still part of the club...

Lindsey remember when we were in Coffeyville and we started a club called the "Rat Pack?" Members included you, me, Cori and Christina...I think that was it. We thought we were totally hot shit too. The "Rat Pack" lasted a week, maybe less. Good times though!

So my boyfriend Jonathan is out of town this week. He went to Miami (where he's from), I'm flying down there next week to be with him and his family for turkey day. Spending holidays with Jews is always a rich experience...yes, pun attended.

A note: never fly Spirt airlines. Spend the extra 20 bucks and get to where you're going on time. Jonathan's flight got cancelled yesterday for some bullshit reason. They said it was b/c of the weather, while every other plane at Newark International Airport was taking off. I think what happened was the plane was not full so they weren't going to make any money, so they cancelled the flight at the first drop of rain. According to U.S. air travel laws, the airline does not have to compensate for travel if the flight was cancelled. So Jonathan missed a $500 gig at a comedy club in Miami last night and he doesn't even get a five dollar food vouture. They suck.

Alright, I must get ready for work now. I hope everyone has a fantastic thanksgiving!!!!!! Again sorry if things are misspelled, illiteracy is hot...or at least that is what I tell myself.

Who'd Have Thought?

Is anyone watching I Love New York 2 on VH1? Regrettably, I am. Yes, that's sad, but here's the thing-----

THIS may be the hottest guy to ever grace reality TV? His nickname is Pretty....aptly. His real name is Juan.

Want to know what I think? He's beautiful. And he's in law school. He interned with Bill Clinton. This man is hot.



I'm in Celebreality love.


Wiz

Monk seals are tasty on Melba toast

Have you ever been beside a mountain and on the beach at the same time? Well, I have. There's this amazing beach that is very far out of the way, on the super duper west side of Oahu. It's called Yokahama Beach. I went about an hour before sunset, and it was breathtaking. I wish I had some pictures to show you, but for the first time, I forgot to take my camera to the beach. I know, I know, I suck at life.

The only downer to this trip was that my friend's boyfriend broke his ankle after we'd been there aproximately 15 minutes. You see, there's another beach about 20 minutes away, that can really only be reached by foot from where we were. It's one of 2 beaches where monk seals can be found. Monk seals, as I'm sure you all know, are the most endangered species on the planet. This week, anyway. So, when Abe suggested that we hike over and take a look, Alippy and I both heartily agreed. Alippy, by the way is not a type-o or a nick-name. It's a Bulgarian name, I think. Anyway, I digress. So, we've been walking for about 5 minutes when we come to a part of the trail that we need to circumnavigate because there's a huge muddy mess in our way. The way we take requires some maneuvering down and around a small cliff. Well, Alippy decides that he doesn't want to walk down like Abe and me. He decides that jumping off of a 7 foot ledge onto uneven rock while wearing flip flops is a good idea. His fractured ankle begs to differ. So, instead of seeing monk seals, I got to help carry a full grown man back to our car. Not that I would have left him out there to fend for himself, but I was rather looking forward to the seals.

I guess I should look on the bright side. The next time we go back to Yokahama, I can remember to bring my camera. As it was before, I wouldn't have had any pictures of the monk seals, much like I don't have any pictures of Yokahama.

Mahalo.

-T

Rosey Cheeks and Talking Small

Hello Blogging Universe,

It has been a long time, hasn't it? So much has happened. So much has changed. I seriously want to know what you're up to and how you've been!

So, what have you been up to?

Good! That's so great! It's good to hear that you're still doing the same ol stuff. I know exactly what you mean. It's so nice to have time to hang out on the weekends and do your own thing.

How's work?

Really? Nothing's changed there either, huh? Well, I'm so glad that you're still working there.


Painful isn't it? Wait. I don't think painful even begins to describe the feeling you get from small talk. Really. They should call it "Hang me by my toenails and drip water into my nostrils" talk.

I.
HATE.
SMALL.
TALK.

I have a friend who lives halfway across the world. We were roommates in college. We usually talk face-to-face once a year when she visits Texas and through email once every two months or so. The most refreshing thing about our friendship is that when we do talk, neither of us puts the other through that exhausting small talk. It's just like we saw each other this morning on our way to class, and the conversation immediately returns to that amazing living room they painted on Trading Spaces with the lime green stripes and purple polka dots.

It reminds me of being home. In a small town. Where you see everyone every day and small talk consists of reviewing the latest list of pregnant 7th graders. Oh! And did you hear? Mrs. Robertson was moved into the nursing home because they found her dog in her freezer!

On the other hand, I have a friend who lives in Dallas. He lives no more than a mile away from me. We see each other every 2 weeks or so. And we talk every other day online while I should be working - getting people drunk.

Sidebar: I work for an alcoholic beverage company.

On the times we get together (every 2 weeks or so), the conversation always begins like this:

"Girl, how are you???? Whatcha been up to???

BAH! You KNOW what I've been doing. I just told you YESTERDAY that I was walking my dog, cleaning my house and staying late at work for a meeting. We talk ALL THE TIME. Can't we just sit here, drink a beer and talk about stupid stuff? Like, I don't know, the fact that you once stuck our friend's perfume between your butt cheeks, took a picture and mailed the picture and the perfume to her?

Now that is awesome conversation.

-P

Red Rover, Red Rover----Send Friendship Right Over!

There are a lot of things that I took for granted being able to do as a kid; things that are so difficult for me to do now that I am officially an adult. And they are things that really wouldn't even cross your mind unless for some strange reason you attempted them again. For example:

-Skipping. Have you tried to skip lately? It's fucking HARD! I think my ass is so much bigger than it was when I was eight that the thing just pulls me straight down to the ground. My skips are much shorter now. It's sad.

-Teeter-tottering. SO HARD! Have you tried it recently? If not- go to your nearest park and try it. I will admit that even as a kid I had some anxiety about being tricked into free-falling to the ground by some mean-spirited asshole, but at least I physically could pull off teeter-tottering. Not today.

-Playing tag. As of today, I can play tag for roughly 15 seconds before feeling like I'm going to pass out. Running is hard. Running fast is REALLY hard. Running fast after cute boys is even harder because you want to look pretty doing it. But when I was little I could chase boys for HOURS. And I did. I tagged 'em.

-Playing Red Rover. What the hell were we thinking? This shit hurts! When members of the opposing team run into your fragile little arms it could break them! Why did we subject ourselves to this torture? And have you tried to do it today? NO, because you don't want to because the idea of letting someone run full-speed into your outstretched arm is fucking retarded!



Being a kid was fun. Having energy was fun. But that's, as always, NOT the point of this entry. I want to talk about the thing that was by far the most easy thing to do when I was a kid and the most difficult for me to do now:

Make friends.

I just moved to Chicago 4 months ago. When I moved here I knew a total of about 5 people, not including my roommates. And out of the 5 there was only really 1 that I would consider a close friend...and she moved to Hawaii recently (thanks NS).

So, here I am again in one of the largest cities in the nation- no friends and out of my comfort zone.

See, I grew up in Coffeyville KS where I knew everyone and everyone knew me. If they didn't officially know me they probably knew OF me or I knew OF them. That's the kind of place I grew up in. I meet people still today who say that they are from South Coffeyville or Mound Valley (all nearby towns) and when they tell me their names I'm like "Oh yeah! I dated your cousin once" or "Oh, I played high school basketball against you!" Knowing everyone. THAT'S comfortable.

But then I journeyed to Commerce, TX for college and learned something about myself---- socially I have a lot of anxieties. I had never had to try to make friends before, and I learned that I wasn't very good at it, nor was I very good at keeping friends once I had them. And it's not because I didn't want to. I want friends. I want good ones. I want to keep them and hang on to them. But it's just hard for me. One-on-one encounters make me extremely nervous unless I have known the person I am encountering for years. And even then I am sometimes still nervous. Another huge anxiety of mine- calling people on the phone. It's terrifying for me...especially when calling strangers or people I don't know very well. So, when you consider all of the information above--- meeting new people and building relationships is A LITTLE difficult for me.

BUT, all of my own personal anxiety aside, the point of this entry is to point out that AS AN ADULT IN GENERAL IT IS DIFFICULT TO MAKE FRIENDS.

When you are 25 years old people ALREADY HAVE their friends. They already have a circle. They don't want anyone else to enter the circle. They are set. They are reluctant to let an outsider in.

When I left Texas after living there for 4 years and going through what was supposed to be the best time in my life (college, which wasn't by the way), I had gained a fiance' and a handful of acquaintances, but really only 2 friends that I still keep up with and consider to be "close" friends. You know why? People in Dallas already had friends.

Now, here in Chicago, it is even tougher. I am not in college anymore. I am not even a new graduate anymore. I am just your run-of-the-mill working adult. And the only thing that is not run-of-the-mill about me is that I don't really have any friends and I'm not really sure how to make them.

It was so EASY when I was a kid--- I told someone "I like you" and asked them if they wanted to play with me. They said "yes" or "no" (or in the case of Lindsay Downing and Jody Walterschied, they said "We'll have to think about it" and then never returned to give me an answer. Still a little bitter about that). From that point on our fate was sealed. Based on their answer, we were either "friends" or "enemies". It was simple. But not anymore. As an adult, if I meet someone, think they are cool, and think that they might be a potential friend, I can't just say "Soo....I like you. Do you want to play with me?" I really can't even say "I think you are so cool. We should hang out sometime" because that STILL sounds weird. Adults just don't do that. Do they?

There are times when I just want to tell them- "Listen- I know this is weird but I think that you are really cool and I want to make you my friend." I know it's pretty straight forward, but hey- maybe they would appreciate my honesty? Probably not, huh? Still creepy.

I hope I'm not the only 25-year-old adult that has a hard time making friends. Because I feel like sort of a loser.

That said- if you live in the Chicago area and want to be my friend, the answer is "yes."


Hugs.

The Wiz

Don't tell anyone, but I'm a vegan

News everybody! I'm a vegan. Not the militant type that scowls at the carnivores or gives the finger to strangers enjoying their eggs Benadict. I've given up eating any animal products for health reasons. Your body practically sweats fat as you're getting rid of all the fried foods, the mayonaise, and the butter. I feel so much healthier. I've got a lot of energy...which probably also correllates to the fact that I go to bed at 9 every weeknight, get up at 5 and go for a walk/run with my dog and I only drink on the weekends, and even then, it's only 2 or 3. My skin looks better and I smell better in general. So, after all of these positives about being vegan, why am I ashamed to admit it in public?

On Halloween, there was a luncheon at my office that I avoided. I cruised the breakroom beforehand and saw that there was nothing that didn't have eggs or milk, and most of the stuff had meat in it. So, when my lunch break came, I just ate what I'd brought from home outside. Many of my coworkers asked why I didn't join them in the lunch room. I stammered. I sputtered. I tried to get away with half truths. "Oh, I have to eat a special diet." or "I don't eat dairy." All of my responses just garnered more questions from my coworkers. Finally, I would come out and say that I was vegan. And then I'd have to explain the difference between vegans and vegitarians. And I had to explain why I was putting myself on such a rigorous diet. I feel that when I tell people of the health benefits that I sound a bit holier-than-thou. I understand that people like to eat meat and dairy and eggs. They taste good! But for me, I like the way I feel when I don't have any animal products coursing through my system.

I think part of my embarassment at going vegan comes from the stereotype that vegans hate anyone who eats animal products. And, for some that is true. But those are the tree-hugging hippy-types who are vegan because they don't want to cause harm to other animals. I don't give a shit about the ugly animals that we use for food. They taste fucking awesome. Unfortunately, they're not that great for us. I know what they say, "everything in moderation." But, Americans don't eat animal products in moderation. They're there at every meal, in every snack...in our gum! Look on the ingredients list of the new Trident flavors...there's milk in some of them.

Now, ever since going kosher, I haven't eaten a lot of meat because it's easier to get away from mixing meat and dairy if there's no meat. So, I just decided that for a while, I'd try the no meat thing. Then, my roommate's brother, who's been vegan for years, told me that if I was giving up meat for health reasons, I'd might as well go vegan because it's the best weight-loss, muscle-building diet (if you make certain to get all of your nutrients in). See, even now I feel like I have to explain myself. In any other situation, I'd just say "fuck it. It's my hot body, I'll do what I want." Why does explaining about being vegan cause me so much shame?

Does anyone else have a habit/lifestyle that is perfectly fine (you're not a child molester, or someone who collects and names their scabs, creating a scab army) but you're embarrassed about it?

-NS

What's a little corporate ranting amongst friends?

Things I hate about the corporate world, in general and Hawaii-specific:

1. People who answer the phone by saying their name.
ex: "This is Bob."
or
"Terry Smith."
No hello. Not even a Hi. I think it's rude. And unneccessary. 99% of the people who call know who they're calling when they dial the number. Sometimes, I get tricked and think it's a voice mail. And then I get embarrassed when I realize that I've been leaving a message to a live person.

2. Men who wear Aloha shirts over their suit slacks. It looks ridiculous, first of all. And secondly, it's not fair. Women have to wear actual business or business-casual attire. I suppose women could wear the lady counterpart of the Aloha shirt (it's a muumuu, by the way) but most women realize the sheer stupidity of the look.

3. Pleated front khakis - or any pants, I suppose. No matter what body type you have, the pleats do not flatter anyone. In fact, they make you look lke you have a frontal fanny. I have written of many of the attractive men downtown on the grounds of pleated front slacks alone. Pleats belong on skirts.

4. Over-stuffed business envelopes. As a professional mail opener, there is nothing more annoying than wrestling with an over-stuffed envelope, especially when I've got a mountain of mail waiting for me. Just use a larger envelope, people! It will cost the same amount of postage as well as save us both some trouble. The only things that should be over-stuffed are arm chairs and Oreos.

5. People who cut me off when I'm greeting them on the phone. I don't care what doctor you are or which law office you work in, you are not so important that you can be rude to me. These are probably the assholes who answer the phone with their name, too.

That's all I've got for now.

Mahalo.

Conundrum in Paradise

So, those of you who know me as a real person and not just as my shitty profile on the interweb know that one of the great big ol' plusses for me of coming to Hawaii would be all the mondo-hot surfers. Read that sentence again. It makes sense. I promise. Now, while I've been out here almost a month, I've been enjoying the heck out of all the beaches I've gone to. I've loved snorkeling. I've loved body surfing on the small sets. However, my enjoyment of the beaches and ocean has come at a price: there are no hot surfers (or surfers of a lesser visual quality for that matter) out when there are no good waves to catch. The swells are slowly getting bigger, and by January, most of the beaches will be closed to swimmers other than pro sufers. Hooray for meeting hot surfers! Boo for not getting to swim or get in the ocean after the New Year. Well, maybe by January I'll be sick of swimming. Oh who am I kidding, I love swimming in the ocean. I'll just have to become a pro surfer by then.

Mahalo!

Nothing Special.

You're reading about my dog's ureter

Yes, I'll admit it- that title was a clever play on words and sounds. You're welcome. But, this post is very serious.


Last week, Jackie was acting very sick and was squatting in the house. That is weird for our dog, who hasn't pottied in the house in 4 years. She was just acting miserable and would hardly eat (VERY strange behavior for our dog who once ate a whole stick of butter). So, on Saturday Cam took her to the vet who immediately referred him to the doggy emergency room....


...where we found out that Jackie had passed some kidney stones. DID YOU EVEN KNOW DOGS COULD DO THAT?

Me neither.

Cam had brought this THING in that WE THOUGHT Jackie had pooed out (a little pebble which we figured was something that her tummy could not digest)...and it turned out to be a huge pea-sized kidney stone. IT WAS HUGE! I can't imagine it coming out of a human vadge, let alone a little doggy-sized vadge. Poor dog.

So, now she is on antibiotics for her UTI and she has a few more stones to pass.






Hiding head in shame...








Keep her in your prayers or send her good karma- whichever you like to practice.

The Wiz

P.S. I was going to post a picture of the stone but I thought that would be too gross. Just trust me that it's HUGE.

This is Me

First, I would like to say sorry I haven't been a good blogger girl these lasts couple of weeks. My life picked up out of nowhere, so I've been busy being busy and adjusting to being busy...you feel me?

Okay, so let's start with the basics...my name is Deanna Riggs, I grew up in Kansas and moved to NYC two years ago when I was 21.

I know what you're thinking, "why would you move from beautiful Kansas to dirty New York City." Valid question my friends, but I do have an answer...Mr. Conan O'Brien...yeah I said it, the giant leprecon man is responsible...kinda.

A couple of days before Christmas 2005, I got a call from the internship coordinator at Late Night with Conan O'Brien. I went through a couple of phone interviews and she offered me a spring internship at the show, and by "the show" I mean my favorite show of all time. So I of course said yes, she informed me I had to weeks before my first day. As I told her "yes, I'll be there," I was shitting my pants...for so many reasons! First, out of excitement. Second, out of fear. Third, "holy fucking shit...I have a apartment in St. Louis (where I was going to college), what the hell am I going to do.

yadda yadda yadda...I figured all that shit out and surer enough, two weeks later I had a New York zip code.

So obviously that internship has long come and gone, I finished June 2006. Since then I have made use of my upgraded resume. A month after I left Conan I got a job at a post-production house. They edit all the major commercials you see on television.

After working full-time for a couple of months I decided I wanted to explore other accepts of production and worked it out so that I only have to work there part-time. With the extra time I landed a kick ass casting internship at "The Onion News Network." I'm sure all you guys are familiar with the "The Onion" right (if you're not you should be)? Well ONN is a new division of "The Onion," it's just like watching CNN but it's all fake news. FYI you can check it out on myspace or at www.theonion.com.

Now you all are caught up to my life in the present and why I have been to damn busy to blog. Well, my internship at ONN ended last week after almost a year. To fill the void I decided to look for a job...this time one that pays money.

So as of last week I am the new Junior Agent at Actors Reps of New York, a successful talent agency. The basic function of my job is to audition actors/actresses who want to join our agency and decide if we want them. Oh and my office is pretty rad too, it's on Times Sq. with a huge view. All of the furniture is straight out of the 80's, which is probably my favorite part about the new job.

Anyway, I promise to write more!!! Gotta run b/c Weeds is going to be on in like 6 min. I'm not even going to proof read this...and I'm one of those people who really should.

Have a great night!!!!!!!!

~Deanimal

Yes, this is a Britney Spears post

So, if I recently e-mailed you and told you that I "needed your help" and "opinion" on something...it was not this post. Look below to my Material Girl post and help me out with that.


THIS, is an entirely different and much less important topic: "Unfitney" Spears.


So, I recently read an article talking about Britney and her relationship with her sons. I'm sure that I don't have to review you on what is going on with her---erratic behavior, drug abuse, losing custody of her kids, getting arrested for hit and run and no license, etc., etc. And I read all of the garbage that is posted and written about her. It's an obsession. I guess because of her "fall from grace" she is very intriguing to me. How could someone that high up go so low? AND, what exactly will be her "rock bottom?" It's interesting. Especially for someone like me who has always wanted to be a performer and has wondered why so many performers seem to fall so hard after achieving celebrity status.

Anywho, to the point: in a lot of the articles, the journalists try to pinpoint what caused her fall from grace. They have many theories- her "daddy issues", her predisposition to alcohol and drugs because of her father's struggle with addiction, her break-up with Justin Timberlake, fame and paparazzi....but I think that those are all bullshit (especially blaming the pressure of being in the public eye----BULLSHIT!) I want to propose a much more rational and, in my opinion, SOUND explanation for what I think happened......


So, in the article I was reading, it mentioned how several insiders said that Britney had "no interest" in her kids and got "frustrated when they cried." They also said their seemed to be "no bond" when she held them and that they seemed very much like a "burden" to her. She seemed to have no emotional connection with them.

UUUUMMMM......am I crazy or does this sound EXACTLY like POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION?

Have you ever seen anyone with post-partum depression or read about it? This is how mothers suffering from it act. They have no interest in dealing with their newborn and they resent it. They oftentimes get on medication for this and tumble into a deep depression. Occasionally they become addicted to prescription drugs.

Let's look at the time line:

*Britney releases her first album at 16
*Britney has a successful career for 8 years
*Britney gets married and is still wildly successful
*Britney has kids*
*Britney starts abusing drugs and alcohol and acting erradic


HELLO! She is abusing drugs and alcohol to deal with her post-partum depression. I'm no therapist but I can see it from a million miles away....it's like knowing that a girl who stays in an abusive relationship has low self-esteem and also probably some "daddy issues". It's pretty clear-cut.

Anyway- I just don't know why I haven't read any articles talking about this. Anyone who has taken a semester of Psych in college can figure it out. Why aren't the professionals talking about this?


Thoughts?

The Wiz

Material Girl

Okay all you honeys....I need some feedback- SERIOUSLY.


The fianc' and I have been discussing our spending, and talks have come to a halt when it comes to the budget that I spend on myself- my "me money". What you must consider is that I spend NOTHING when it comes to pampering myself or making myself beautiful. Here are the things that I know many girls enjoy each month (or week), that I do not:

*Haircuts (I cut my own)
*Hair coloring (I color my own)
*Manicures and Pedicures (I ruin them so quickly that it's not worth it)
*Tanning (I do occasionally in the winter, but not regularly)
*Facial products or any other pampering sort of item (I rarely even buy make-up)


SO, generally what I spend my "me money" on is shopping....clothes, accessories, etc. and Cam and I go back and forth about how much is reasonable and how much is me just not being able to control myself.

So, the question that I pose to you all is this: when you add up the money that you spend on yourself for the items mentioned above PLUS shopping.....

....HOW MUCH WOULD YOU SAY YOU SPEND ON YOURSELF PER MONTH?

You can do it as a lump amount OR you can tell me in the form of a percentage. What percentage of your paycheck each month goes to "me" things?


Let me know. I need this. My engagement depends on it. :)

The Wiz

Fair and Balanced Blogging

Howdy y'all.

I've been temping at this great little insurance company in downtown Honolulu for about a week and a half now. It's really been a nice experience so far. My boss is very sweet, and the people in the office are nice to me and helpful.

However, today there was a little snafu to all the pleasantries. There's a flat screen tv behind me so that people waiting in the reception area have something to stare at. We keep it on mute and on a news station. Or so I thought until today. It turns out that we only keep it on Fox News because all the big wigs in the company are conservative Republicans who can't handle even the idea of non "fair and balanced" news being spread throughout the office, even if you can't hear it.

This all began Friday afternoon when someone turned on the University of Hawaii game. When I returned to work on Monday, the sports channel was still on, so I turned the sound off and scrolled through the channels, stopping on the first all news channel I came to. It happened to be the apparently uber offensive CNN. No one even noticed that there was a different non "fair and balanced" news channel on until our IT guy was loafing around and putting off doing any work by hanging out at my desk and watching tv. It took him about 5 minutes to even notice that the channel wasn't FOX. And then he got all huffy. And, I think a little scared that he might be influenced even the slightest to not hate gays, minorities, and poor people. And the kicker is that Larry King Live was on. Who gives a shit about Larry King? I mean, seriously. Is a 150 year old, suspenders-wearing Mormon really so threatening? He was interviewing some televangelist from Houston. Shouldn't that put his "conservatively compassionate" - I mean "compassionately...." oh, who am I kidding, I had it right the first time - hackles at ease?

Wrapping this up, I didn't get in trouble, and my boss even laughed as I pretty much made fun of this guy to his face about being so upset over Larry King. I just think it's funny that I've come so far west to land in a red state...or at least a red office building.

-Nothing Special

Home Sweet Home

Sorry it's been a while. I went home to Southeast Kansas this weekend for my best friend's wedding. I am from Coffeyville, but the wedding was held in Pittsburg (home of the Pittsburg State Gorillas). A lot of old friends still live in this area as a lot of them attended Pitt State. Actually, Pittsburg is a great place to get a feel for my hometown because many Field Kindley High School students go to Pitt State.

It was a great weekend, and I had so much fun seeing my friends. I've been missing them so much. Here are some other things that I have missed (or not) about SEK:



*Guys wearing their best camo to bars

*Guys not settling for driving anything with less than a V8 engine

*Guys wearing jeans and tennis shoes to a wedding

*Guys chewing tobacco at a wedding

*Bud Light tallboys on special for $2.75 at the bar



Home, sweet, classless. You gotta love it.


The Wiz

Fuck Chivalry- even DECENCY is dead

Women often discuss the age-old subject of chivalry and whether it is still alive and well in our D-BAG-filled, stripper-loving world. I never have really questioned it myself though- the guys that I try to surround myself with are very chivalrous and take good care of me. I am particular about the men that I hang out with because I am a bit of a feminist and I like men that treat me as an equal in conversation. And the men that I surround myself with (for the most part) are great. I hate chauvinism and they know this. BUT, "my men" are not ones that would ever stand to see a woman mistreated and certainly wouldn't mistreat her themselves.

But since I have been in Chi-Town I have witnessed two travesties that make me wonder not only about the existence of chivalry in our male-counterparts, but DECENCY. Let me paint the two situations for you. (Please read on. Trust me- you'll be APPALLED):


SITUATION ONE------------

So, about a month ago I was on the El. It was REALLY crowed and we were downtown. I was wearing my headphones, but I took them off as I heard yelling about 15 feet away in the same car. What I saw was a medium-sized black man pushing a thin older white woman off of her seat. Pushing her. Seriously. And he was screaming "Get off my mo' fuckin' DOG!" over and over.

It seemed that what had happened was that the man had his dog in a small pet carrier and had set it in the seat beside him (which is not allowed, you are supposed to hold your items in your lap) and the woman had, sort of, perched herself on the edge of the seat holding the dog (the train was really crowded, everyone was standing, the dog wasn't supposed to be there, and there was PLENTY of room for her to do that. She WAS NOT sitting on his "mo' fuckin' dog").

Well, the man DID NOT like this, and just kept screaming at her. Then he tried to push her off the seat. I gotta hand it to the woman though- she held her ground. She held on the to seat and handles and wouldn't budge. But he kept pushing her and pushing her. I seriously thought I was going to see a woman get punched in the face that day. Her friend was standing near her and was yelling at the man to stop. He stood up and got in the friend's face and threatened her.

So what made this situation so crazy? NOT ONE MAN SAID OR DID ANYTHING. Seriously. The train was probably half-full of men, and none of them stopped this man from physically assaulting these two women. None of these men even said one word. NOT ONE.

And, as any of these other girls can attest to, it was IMPOSSIBLE for any of the women on the train to do anything at all. I would have loved to rip this guy a new one and then beat the shit out of him. But, I'm a small woman, and for me to even SAY ANYTHING to this guy would have been very dangerous. He was pushing a woman, I SERIOUSLY DOUBT he would have any qualms with punching a woman either.

So, me and the other women on the train all sat....silent and helpless. And it sucks. Where were the men at in this situation and how could they allow this to go on?

The "friend" finally called the police, and I didn't get to see how it all got resolved because I had to get off the train. It was truly sad.


SITUATION TWO--------------


Just three days ago I was on the El again and got on the train downtown. As soon as I got on I could tell that something wasn't right in the car. I saw this-again- medium-sized black man ranting loudly and everyone else sort of looking away uncomfortably. But, really, that's not uncommon to see on the train. As long as he's ranting about nothing and not hurting anyone- people usually leave guys like this alone (right Nothing Special?). But apparently this wasn't the situation.

Next to him, turned away, were two Asian girls standing and one of them was crying. Then, a girl nearby quietly filled me in on the situation: apparently one of the Asian girls had tried to sit down next to him and he said "You can't sit here you Chinese bitch" and proceeded to go on a huge rant about how this "wasn't her country". But it didn't stop there. While I was standing there he started to yell that he was going to put his "dick in her mouth" and other really awesomely obscene things. Then he proceeded to verbally attack a few other women on the train and pretty soon he was yelling disgusting shit at about 5 women.

But, again, me and the other women silently took it. Why? Because if we would have said anything we would have been endangering ourselves.

Again, though, I ask--WHERE ARE THE MEN? There were several men on this train. Big guys that could have easily intimidated him. They couldn't even look for a CTA official to get the guy kicked off the train? Really? These men let this man degrade and assault 5 women on this train without speaking a word. Disgusting. I was almost in tears listening to the guy because I was so angry that I couldn't do anything about it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, let me state for the record that I understand men not wanting to get involved in a confrontation. My fiance' is the KING of not wanting to get in a confrontation. When trouble arises he is the first to "get the hell outta Dodge." And while I'm glad that he's smart and avoids trouble whenever possible...at times I wish that he and other men could assume the "protector" role more often.

I mean, could you even IMAGINE either of these situations taking place in, say, the 50or 60s? They would have never happened because the men on the train would have come to the rescue of the women being attacked. I guess it's a different world now. And while I like it that women now are more respected and treated as equals (rather than in the 50s and 60s), we still have to admit that we are physically inferior for the most part. We are the more emotional sex. We are the physically smaller and weaker sex. And I'm okay with that because I think that we (at least most of us) are emotionally strong, thick-skinned, and resilient....

...But we cannot defend ourselves in all situations. And I would love to see men step up to the plate more often.


Emotionally,

The Wiz

Things Disney Has Lied To Us About

Hey everybody. I went snorkeling in Haleiwa yesterday. It went much more splendidly than the last time (which was my first time to snorkel ever). We were out swimming amongst the fish for about an hour and a half. That's right. I, Tanya, am now okay with swimming near fish. So long as they are much much smaller than I am and seem to be completely disinterested in me. Anyway, the ocean was quite clear and we were able to see lots of pretty fish. I also saw some coral and some sea urchins.

My new home by the ocean has opened my eyes to some things, though. Apparently, The Little Mermaid is full of lies and deceits. First of all, if you've ever washed ashore, it's no fun at all. In fact, it's hard as hell to get out of the ocean on your own accord. Also, yesterday I saw an eel. It seems that eels do not work in pairs for evil half-octopus witches, and they are not out to get me. And, one final bit of treachery on Disney's part: We snorkeled for an hour and a half, and I saw no signs of flute-playing lutes, harp-playing carps, or any carribbean band, hot or otherwise.

All that being said, after we were done at the beach, we headed into the town for some food and spirits. We stopped off at this great little Mexican restaurant called Rosie's Cantina. Now, being from Texas, I'm always leery of Mexican food outside of the Lone Star State. However, this food was really good. I had the enchilada. That's right the enchilada. I kept thinking I was saying quesadilla, but in fact, I was saying enchilada. An embarrassing moment for me, when my plate came and there was only one enchilada on it. At any rate, it was delicious and pretty on par for what you can find in Texas. Who knew Haleiwa, Hawaii had good Tex-Mex? Also, they served me the best Pina Colada I've ever had in my life. I don't normally drink Pina Coladas because they taste either too sweet or too rummy at most places. This one was excellent. I give it two very enthusiastic thumbs up.

Good Tex-Mex aside, Haleiwa is a great place to visit in Hawaii. It's about 45 minutes from Honolulu, and the scenery on the drive over is really beautiful. We were at Waimea Beach, which can become crowded as the day wears on, but we got there at 10a.m. There was plenty of parking and the beach wasn't crowded yet. The sand is much softer than the sand on Gray's Beach in Waikiki but not quite as soft as the sand on Sandy Beach on the east side of the island. Also, the life guards were quite handsome. On this particular Saturday, there were many tasty morsels of eye candy to choose from. Some locals showed up, and were actually louder than the tourists. And, there were some good-looking college guys milling about as well.
Okay, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Mahalo.

-T

My Biggest Fear in the Big City

Living in this environment, I have a lot of fears. I encounter some really weird/creepy people on an almost minutely basis. And crime is all around me and as a young girl my safety is always threatened. I am constantly on high alert. Here are some of the scariest/weirdest things that I've seen with my own two eyes the past 3 months in Chicago:

*A man physically assaulting a woman on the "el" (subway)

*Drug deals galore on the street PLUS (as a bonus) a guy rolling a joint on the street-corner next to my apartment

*Four big, scary, 'roid-raging D-BAGS screaming obscenities at Cam and I downtown late one night (for no apparent reason other than the 'roids).

*a lady on the "el" who had shit her pants and was pan-handling.



BUT, these truly bizarre/scary experiences aren't the point in this entry. While I encounter things that threaten my safety on a daily basis, I really have become quite acclimated to living life here. So, I could tell you about the weird/creepy things that I see all day without blinking an eye. Strangely, despite it, I don't living a constant state of fear.

What I want to tell you about is my BIGGEST and certainly MOST IRRATIONAL fear...

...WALKING THROUGH REVOLVING DOORS.

And I know this sounds weird. I know it does. But- I have a bit of an anxiety problem, and I keep myself up at night worrying about really stupid things. And this is a REALLY stupid one.

See, there are A LOT of revolving doors here in Chicago- it's a big city and they need to get people shuffled around as quickly and efficiently as possible. So, I encounter them all the time at the "el" stops, stores, restaurants. Even the grocery stores all have revolving doors.

And, always, as I see the revolving door looming ahead of me, I get this really uneasy feeling. I just know that it's going to be disaster. I approach the revolving traps before me knowing that one of the following is going to happy:

A) The door will get get going too fast and I will get caught up in it like a damned cartoon character just rotating around and around (which I know isn't physically possible but that doesn't even matter when it comes to irrational fears)

B) The people behind me will push the door too fast and I'm going to get tripped up, fall down, and get smooshed

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C) I'm going to be too cautious (because I go REALLY slow with these deathtraps) and go so slowly that people behind me get mad at me.

Either way SOMETHING embarrassing is going to happen. I always know it. Nothing has happened yet. Thankfully. But, I know something will happen soon. And I get this sick feeling in my stomach each time I approach a revolving door. Is this weird and stupid? Yes. Do I have MUCH BIGGER things to worry about living in a city like Chicago? Yes. But I can't help it. Embarrassing.

The Wiz

Why Didn't I Think of That?

All this time I've been wrapping my ecstasy up in my Popple. I should have tried this...



Officers Find Ecstasy in Mr. Potato Head

Upon opening the parcel, the officers were greeted with the smiling face of the popular children's toy, which features a potato-like head and removable facial features. But when they removed a panel from the back of the toy, the officers found 10.34 ounces of ecstasy in a plastic bag.

The Australian Customs Service referred the matter to federal police, but no arrests were immediately made, the agency said. The maximum penalty for importing drugs to Australia is life imprisonment.

"Whilst this is one of the more unusual concealments that we have seen in recent times, people need to be aware that Customs officers are alert to unusual and often outlandish methods of concealment," Customs Director Post Karen Williams said.




The Wiz

Get over it, you pansy ass pussies

Ok. I'm pissed off. And, I'm gainfully employed after only 3 days in Hawaii (and I'm in HAWAII) so getting me pissed off should be difficult to do. I just read that a whole bunch of Philippine cry babies called in to ABC studios because in the season premiere of Desperate Housewives, Terri Hatcher's character made an off-hand disparaging remark about the quality of the Philippines' medical training. It's Terri Hatcher on Desperate Housewives for crying out loud! It's not like Anderson Cooper said it on CNN. It's a stupid, fictitious show. If Terri Hatcher's character wants to rant on and on about how Hitler did the world a service, or about how Rosa Parks was an uppity woman, who gives a shit? It's just make believe. That woman (whoever Terri plays, I don't pay much attention to that show) isn't actually going around telling people that the medical programs of the Philippines are sub-par. And, the fact that there are 30,000 people who signed an online petition to have ABC publicly apologize just goes to show that the world is full of card-carrying retards. And that is a disparaging statement that deserves some uproar because it is an insult to retarded people! I'm sure that enrollment in medical programs isn't going to plummet in the Philippines because of this show. In fact, I don't think this show really has any impact on the world at large. So, these cry babies are just shooting themselves in the foot by flagging this issue. If they could hold off on a knee-jerk, bleeding-heart reaction, no one would even have cared about any of this. But, as it is, now we all have to read about it, and then feel bad because a fictional character doesn't value the medical programs in the Philippines. Seriously, if this show is an affront to anyone, it should be housewives.

Ugh. Peace out.

-Nothing Special

Oh, IT'S ON now

Well, they've forced me to do this. I will now prove that my dog is more awesome than any of my cohort's dogs.

She is a Jack Russel Terrier and her name is Jackie (stupid, I know, but we didn't pick it. She was given to us by my brother and sister-in-law when they had a baby. If WE had named her her name would have been Robocop).


Our dog watches TV with her owner on the couch in a hilarious manner, as seen here:



She also values health and works out on the treadmill as seen below:



She is hilarious just like her owners and does great physical comedy:



But most importantly- she's just damned adorable:




You may notice that Nothing Special's dog Trixie looks a lot like my Jackie. Matter of fact- she's a bit of a dopple-ganger. HOWEVER, they differ in character. Jackie acts Mike Myers's "hyper-hypo" character from Saturday Night Live and Trixie acts more like Woody Allen.


My dog rules.


The Wiz