A tofurkey won't run off with your girlfriend and break your heart.

Hello everyone.  I hope you're recovering nicely from your tryptophan comas.  I didn't have one this year because tofurkey doesn't contain tryptophan.  That's right.  I stuck up my nose at the patriotic tradition of eating turkey on the 3rd Thursday in November.  Ooops!  But, please don't feel sorry for me.  The 100% vegan dinner that I cooked was amazing.  And, I got the thumbs up from 3 meat eaters as well. 

With my new sense of moral superiority, I feel that I am now qualified to give you all a list of things you could have done with your turkeys besides stripping them naked and shoving bread crumbs in their asses (I know, I know, it's technically in their neck holes but 'neck holes' just didn't have the same ring that 'asses' did).  Okay, on with the list:

1.  . . . 

Well, that was a short list.  Turkeys are pretty damn useless for anything other than slow cooking.  I mean, it's not like you could tie a leash around one and go trolling for booty at the dog park with it.  With anyone you might attract, you'd have to wonder if they were really into you or just waiting around for dinner.

Okay, enough from me.  Hooray vegan Thanksgiving.  

-NS