Things I hate about the corporate world, in general and Hawaii-specific:
1. People who answer the phone by saying their name.
ex: "This is Bob."
or
"Terry Smith."
No hello. Not even a Hi. I think it's rude. And unneccessary. 99% of the people who call know who they're calling when they dial the number. Sometimes, I get tricked and think it's a voice mail. And then I get embarrassed when I realize that I've been leaving a message to a live person.
2. Men who wear Aloha shirts over their suit slacks. It looks ridiculous, first of all. And secondly, it's not fair. Women have to wear actual business or business-casual attire. I suppose women could wear the lady counterpart of the Aloha shirt (it's a muumuu, by the way) but most women realize the sheer stupidity of the look.
3. Pleated front khakis - or any pants, I suppose. No matter what body type you have, the pleats do not flatter anyone. In fact, they make you look lke you have a frontal fanny. I have written of many of the attractive men downtown on the grounds of pleated front slacks alone. Pleats belong on skirts.
4. Over-stuffed business envelopes. As a professional mail opener, there is nothing more annoying than wrestling with an over-stuffed envelope, especially when I've got a mountain of mail waiting for me. Just use a larger envelope, people! It will cost the same amount of postage as well as save us both some trouble. The only things that should be over-stuffed are arm chairs and Oreos.
5. People who cut me off when I'm greeting them on the phone. I don't care what doctor you are or which law office you work in, you are not so important that you can be rude to me. These are probably the assholes who answer the phone with their name, too.
That's all I've got for now.
Mahalo.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Conundrum in Paradise
So, those of you who know me as a real person and not just as my shitty profile on the interweb know that one of the great big ol' plusses for me of coming to Hawaii would be all the mondo-hot surfers. Read that sentence again. It makes sense. I promise. Now, while I've been out here almost a month, I've been enjoying the heck out of all the beaches I've gone to. I've loved snorkeling. I've loved body surfing on the small sets. However, my enjoyment of the beaches and ocean has come at a price: there are no hot surfers (or surfers of a lesser visual quality for that matter) out when there are no good waves to catch. The swells are slowly getting bigger, and by January, most of the beaches will be closed to swimmers other than pro sufers. Hooray for meeting hot surfers! Boo for not getting to swim or get in the ocean after the New Year. Well, maybe by January I'll be sick of swimming. Oh who am I kidding, I love swimming in the ocean. I'll just have to become a pro surfer by then.
Mahalo!
Nothing Special.
Mahalo!
Nothing Special.
You're reading about my dog's ureter
Yes, I'll admit it- that title was a clever play on words and sounds. You're welcome. But, this post is very serious.
Last week, Jackie was acting very sick and was squatting in the house. That is weird for our dog, who hasn't pottied in the house in 4 years. She was just acting miserable and would hardly eat (VERY strange behavior for our dog who once ate a whole stick of butter). So, on Saturday Cam took her to the vet who immediately referred him to the doggy emergency room....
...where we found out that Jackie had passed some kidney stones. DID YOU EVEN KNOW DOGS COULD DO THAT?
Me neither.
Cam had brought this THING in that WE THOUGHT Jackie had pooed out (a little pebble which we figured was something that her tummy could not digest)...and it turned out to be a huge pea-sized kidney stone. IT WAS HUGE! I can't imagine it coming out of a human vadge, let alone a little doggy-sized vadge. Poor dog.
So, now she is on antibiotics for her UTI and she has a few more stones to pass.
Hiding head in shame...
Keep her in your prayers or send her good karma- whichever you like to practice.
The Wiz
P.S. I was going to post a picture of the stone but I thought that would be too gross. Just trust me that it's HUGE.
Last week, Jackie was acting very sick and was squatting in the house. That is weird for our dog, who hasn't pottied in the house in 4 years. She was just acting miserable and would hardly eat (VERY strange behavior for our dog who once ate a whole stick of butter). So, on Saturday Cam took her to the vet who immediately referred him to the doggy emergency room....
...where we found out that Jackie had passed some kidney stones. DID YOU EVEN KNOW DOGS COULD DO THAT?
Me neither.
Cam had brought this THING in that WE THOUGHT Jackie had pooed out (a little pebble which we figured was something that her tummy could not digest)...and it turned out to be a huge pea-sized kidney stone. IT WAS HUGE! I can't imagine it coming out of a human vadge, let alone a little doggy-sized vadge. Poor dog.
So, now she is on antibiotics for her UTI and she has a few more stones to pass.
Hiding head in shame...
Keep her in your prayers or send her good karma- whichever you like to practice.
The Wiz
P.S. I was going to post a picture of the stone but I thought that would be too gross. Just trust me that it's HUGE.
Monday, October 22, 2007
This is Me
First, I would like to say sorry I haven't been a good blogger girl these lasts couple of weeks. My life picked up out of nowhere, so I've been busy being busy and adjusting to being busy...you feel me?
Okay, so let's start with the basics...my name is Deanna Riggs, I grew up in Kansas and moved to NYC two years ago when I was 21.
I know what you're thinking, "why would you move from beautiful Kansas to dirty New York City." Valid question my friends, but I do have an answer...Mr. Conan O'Brien...yeah I said it, the giant leprecon man is responsible...kinda.
A couple of days before Christmas 2005, I got a call from the internship coordinator at Late Night with Conan O'Brien. I went through a couple of phone interviews and she offered me a spring internship at the show, and by "the show" I mean my favorite show of all time. So I of course said yes, she informed me I had to weeks before my first day. As I told her "yes, I'll be there," I was shitting my pants...for so many reasons! First, out of excitement. Second, out of fear. Third, "holy fucking shit...I have a apartment in St. Louis (where I was going to college), what the hell am I going to do.
yadda yadda yadda...I figured all that shit out and surer enough, two weeks later I had a New York zip code.
So obviously that internship has long come and gone, I finished June 2006. Since then I have made use of my upgraded resume. A month after I left Conan I got a job at a post-production house. They edit all the major commercials you see on television.
After working full-time for a couple of months I decided I wanted to explore other accepts of production and worked it out so that I only have to work there part-time. With the extra time I landed a kick ass casting internship at "The Onion News Network." I'm sure all you guys are familiar with the "The Onion" right (if you're not you should be)? Well ONN is a new division of "The Onion," it's just like watching CNN but it's all fake news. FYI you can check it out on myspace or at www.theonion.com.
Now you all are caught up to my life in the present and why I have been to damn busy to blog. Well, my internship at ONN ended last week after almost a year. To fill the void I decided to look for a job...this time one that pays money.
So as of last week I am the new Junior Agent at Actors Reps of New York, a successful talent agency. The basic function of my job is to audition actors/actresses who want to join our agency and decide if we want them. Oh and my office is pretty rad too, it's on Times Sq. with a huge view. All of the furniture is straight out of the 80's, which is probably my favorite part about the new job.
Anyway, I promise to write more!!! Gotta run b/c Weeds is going to be on in like 6 min. I'm not even going to proof read this...and I'm one of those people who really should.
Have a great night!!!!!!!!
~Deanimal
Okay, so let's start with the basics...my name is Deanna Riggs, I grew up in Kansas and moved to NYC two years ago when I was 21.
I know what you're thinking, "why would you move from beautiful Kansas to dirty New York City." Valid question my friends, but I do have an answer...Mr. Conan O'Brien...yeah I said it, the giant leprecon man is responsible...kinda.
A couple of days before Christmas 2005, I got a call from the internship coordinator at Late Night with Conan O'Brien. I went through a couple of phone interviews and she offered me a spring internship at the show, and by "the show" I mean my favorite show of all time. So I of course said yes, she informed me I had to weeks before my first day. As I told her "yes, I'll be there," I was shitting my pants...for so many reasons! First, out of excitement. Second, out of fear. Third, "holy fucking shit...I have a apartment in St. Louis (where I was going to college), what the hell am I going to do.
yadda yadda yadda...I figured all that shit out and surer enough, two weeks later I had a New York zip code.
So obviously that internship has long come and gone, I finished June 2006. Since then I have made use of my upgraded resume. A month after I left Conan I got a job at a post-production house. They edit all the major commercials you see on television.
After working full-time for a couple of months I decided I wanted to explore other accepts of production and worked it out so that I only have to work there part-time. With the extra time I landed a kick ass casting internship at "The Onion News Network." I'm sure all you guys are familiar with the "The Onion" right (if you're not you should be)? Well ONN is a new division of "The Onion," it's just like watching CNN but it's all fake news. FYI you can check it out on myspace or at www.theonion.com.
Now you all are caught up to my life in the present and why I have been to damn busy to blog. Well, my internship at ONN ended last week after almost a year. To fill the void I decided to look for a job...this time one that pays money.
So as of last week I am the new Junior Agent at Actors Reps of New York, a successful talent agency. The basic function of my job is to audition actors/actresses who want to join our agency and decide if we want them. Oh and my office is pretty rad too, it's on Times Sq. with a huge view. All of the furniture is straight out of the 80's, which is probably my favorite part about the new job.
Anyway, I promise to write more!!! Gotta run b/c Weeds is going to be on in like 6 min. I'm not even going to proof read this...and I'm one of those people who really should.
Have a great night!!!!!!!!
~Deanimal
Yes, this is a Britney Spears post
So, if I recently e-mailed you and told you that I "needed your help" and "opinion" on something...it was not this post. Look below to my Material Girl post and help me out with that.
THIS, is an entirely different and much less important topic: "Unfitney" Spears.
So, I recently read an article talking about Britney and her relationship with her sons. I'm sure that I don't have to review you on what is going on with her---erratic behavior, drug abuse, losing custody of her kids, getting arrested for hit and run and no license, etc., etc. And I read all of the garbage that is posted and written about her. It's an obsession. I guess because of her "fall from grace" she is very intriguing to me. How could someone that high up go so low? AND, what exactly will be her "rock bottom?" It's interesting. Especially for someone like me who has always wanted to be a performer and has wondered why so many performers seem to fall so hard after achieving celebrity status.
Anywho, to the point: in a lot of the articles, the journalists try to pinpoint what caused her fall from grace. They have many theories- her "daddy issues", her predisposition to alcohol and drugs because of her father's struggle with addiction, her break-up with Justin Timberlake, fame and paparazzi....but I think that those are all bullshit (especially blaming the pressure of being in the public eye----BULLSHIT!) I want to propose a much more rational and, in my opinion, SOUND explanation for what I think happened......
So, in the article I was reading, it mentioned how several insiders said that Britney had "no interest" in her kids and got "frustrated when they cried." They also said their seemed to be "no bond" when she held them and that they seemed very much like a "burden" to her. She seemed to have no emotional connection with them.
UUUUMMMM......am I crazy or does this sound EXACTLY like POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION?
Have you ever seen anyone with post-partum depression or read about it? This is how mothers suffering from it act. They have no interest in dealing with their newborn and they resent it. They oftentimes get on medication for this and tumble into a deep depression. Occasionally they become addicted to prescription drugs.
Let's look at the time line:
*Britney releases her first album at 16
*Britney has a successful career for 8 years
*Britney gets married and is still wildly successful
*Britney has kids*
*Britney starts abusing drugs and alcohol and acting erradic
HELLO! She is abusing drugs and alcohol to deal with her post-partum depression. I'm no therapist but I can see it from a million miles away....it's like knowing that a girl who stays in an abusive relationship has low self-esteem and also probably some "daddy issues". It's pretty clear-cut.
Anyway- I just don't know why I haven't read any articles talking about this. Anyone who has taken a semester of Psych in college can figure it out. Why aren't the professionals talking about this?
Thoughts?
The Wiz
THIS, is an entirely different and much less important topic: "Unfitney" Spears.
So, I recently read an article talking about Britney and her relationship with her sons. I'm sure that I don't have to review you on what is going on with her---erratic behavior, drug abuse, losing custody of her kids, getting arrested for hit and run and no license, etc., etc. And I read all of the garbage that is posted and written about her. It's an obsession. I guess because of her "fall from grace" she is very intriguing to me. How could someone that high up go so low? AND, what exactly will be her "rock bottom?" It's interesting. Especially for someone like me who has always wanted to be a performer and has wondered why so many performers seem to fall so hard after achieving celebrity status.
Anywho, to the point: in a lot of the articles, the journalists try to pinpoint what caused her fall from grace. They have many theories- her "daddy issues", her predisposition to alcohol and drugs because of her father's struggle with addiction, her break-up with Justin Timberlake, fame and paparazzi....but I think that those are all bullshit (especially blaming the pressure of being in the public eye----BULLSHIT!) I want to propose a much more rational and, in my opinion, SOUND explanation for what I think happened......
So, in the article I was reading, it mentioned how several insiders said that Britney had "no interest" in her kids and got "frustrated when they cried." They also said their seemed to be "no bond" when she held them and that they seemed very much like a "burden" to her. She seemed to have no emotional connection with them.
UUUUMMMM......am I crazy or does this sound EXACTLY like POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION?
Have you ever seen anyone with post-partum depression or read about it? This is how mothers suffering from it act. They have no interest in dealing with their newborn and they resent it. They oftentimes get on medication for this and tumble into a deep depression. Occasionally they become addicted to prescription drugs.
Let's look at the time line:
*Britney releases her first album at 16
*Britney has a successful career for 8 years
*Britney gets married and is still wildly successful
*Britney has kids*
*Britney starts abusing drugs and alcohol and acting erradic
HELLO! She is abusing drugs and alcohol to deal with her post-partum depression. I'm no therapist but I can see it from a million miles away....it's like knowing that a girl who stays in an abusive relationship has low self-esteem and also probably some "daddy issues". It's pretty clear-cut.
Anyway- I just don't know why I haven't read any articles talking about this. Anyone who has taken a semester of Psych in college can figure it out. Why aren't the professionals talking about this?
Thoughts?
The Wiz
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Material Girl
Okay all you honeys....I need some feedback- SERIOUSLY.
The fianc' and I have been discussing our spending, and talks have come to a halt when it comes to the budget that I spend on myself- my "me money". What you must consider is that I spend NOTHING when it comes to pampering myself or making myself beautiful. Here are the things that I know many girls enjoy each month (or week), that I do not:
*Haircuts (I cut my own)
*Hair coloring (I color my own)
*Manicures and Pedicures (I ruin them so quickly that it's not worth it)
*Tanning (I do occasionally in the winter, but not regularly)
*Facial products or any other pampering sort of item (I rarely even buy make-up)
SO, generally what I spend my "me money" on is shopping....clothes, accessories, etc. and Cam and I go back and forth about how much is reasonable and how much is me just not being able to control myself.
So, the question that I pose to you all is this: when you add up the money that you spend on yourself for the items mentioned above PLUS shopping.....
....HOW MUCH WOULD YOU SAY YOU SPEND ON YOURSELF PER MONTH?
You can do it as a lump amount OR you can tell me in the form of a percentage. What percentage of your paycheck each month goes to "me" things?
Let me know. I need this. My engagement depends on it. :)
The Wiz
The fianc' and I have been discussing our spending, and talks have come to a halt when it comes to the budget that I spend on myself- my "me money". What you must consider is that I spend NOTHING when it comes to pampering myself or making myself beautiful. Here are the things that I know many girls enjoy each month (or week), that I do not:
*Haircuts (I cut my own)
*Hair coloring (I color my own)
*Manicures and Pedicures (I ruin them so quickly that it's not worth it)
*Tanning (I do occasionally in the winter, but not regularly)
*Facial products or any other pampering sort of item (I rarely even buy make-up)
SO, generally what I spend my "me money" on is shopping....clothes, accessories, etc. and Cam and I go back and forth about how much is reasonable and how much is me just not being able to control myself.
So, the question that I pose to you all is this: when you add up the money that you spend on yourself for the items mentioned above PLUS shopping.....
....HOW MUCH WOULD YOU SAY YOU SPEND ON YOURSELF PER MONTH?
You can do it as a lump amount OR you can tell me in the form of a percentage. What percentage of your paycheck each month goes to "me" things?
Let me know. I need this. My engagement depends on it. :)
The Wiz
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Fair and Balanced Blogging
Howdy y'all.
I've been temping at this great little insurance company in downtown Honolulu for about a week and a half now. It's really been a nice experience so far. My boss is very sweet, and the people in the office are nice to me and helpful.
However, today there was a little snafu to all the pleasantries. There's a flat screen tv behind me so that people waiting in the reception area have something to stare at. We keep it on mute and on a news station. Or so I thought until today. It turns out that we only keep it on Fox News because all the big wigs in the company are conservative Republicans who can't handle even the idea of non "fair and balanced" news being spread throughout the office, even if you can't hear it.
This all began Friday afternoon when someone turned on the University of Hawaii game. When I returned to work on Monday, the sports channel was still on, so I turned the sound off and scrolled through the channels, stopping on the first all news channel I came to. It happened to be the apparently uber offensive CNN. No one even noticed that there was a different non "fair and balanced" news channel on until our IT guy was loafing around and putting off doing any work by hanging out at my desk and watching tv. It took him about 5 minutes to even notice that the channel wasn't FOX. And then he got all huffy. And, I think a little scared that he might be influenced even the slightest to not hate gays, minorities, and poor people. And the kicker is that Larry King Live was on. Who gives a shit about Larry King? I mean, seriously. Is a 150 year old, suspenders-wearing Mormon really so threatening? He was interviewing some televangelist from Houston. Shouldn't that put his "conservatively compassionate" - I mean "compassionately...." oh, who am I kidding, I had it right the first time - hackles at ease?
Wrapping this up, I didn't get in trouble, and my boss even laughed as I pretty much made fun of this guy to his face about being so upset over Larry King. I just think it's funny that I've come so far west to land in a red state...or at least a red office building.
-Nothing Special
I've been temping at this great little insurance company in downtown Honolulu for about a week and a half now. It's really been a nice experience so far. My boss is very sweet, and the people in the office are nice to me and helpful.
However, today there was a little snafu to all the pleasantries. There's a flat screen tv behind me so that people waiting in the reception area have something to stare at. We keep it on mute and on a news station. Or so I thought until today. It turns out that we only keep it on Fox News because all the big wigs in the company are conservative Republicans who can't handle even the idea of non "fair and balanced" news being spread throughout the office, even if you can't hear it.
This all began Friday afternoon when someone turned on the University of Hawaii game. When I returned to work on Monday, the sports channel was still on, so I turned the sound off and scrolled through the channels, stopping on the first all news channel I came to. It happened to be the apparently uber offensive CNN. No one even noticed that there was a different non "fair and balanced" news channel on until our IT guy was loafing around and putting off doing any work by hanging out at my desk and watching tv. It took him about 5 minutes to even notice that the channel wasn't FOX. And then he got all huffy. And, I think a little scared that he might be influenced even the slightest to not hate gays, minorities, and poor people. And the kicker is that Larry King Live was on. Who gives a shit about Larry King? I mean, seriously. Is a 150 year old, suspenders-wearing Mormon really so threatening? He was interviewing some televangelist from Houston. Shouldn't that put his "conservatively compassionate" - I mean "compassionately...." oh, who am I kidding, I had it right the first time - hackles at ease?
Wrapping this up, I didn't get in trouble, and my boss even laughed as I pretty much made fun of this guy to his face about being so upset over Larry King. I just think it's funny that I've come so far west to land in a red state...or at least a red office building.
-Nothing Special
Monday, October 15, 2007
Home Sweet Home
Sorry it's been a while. I went home to Southeast Kansas this weekend for my best friend's wedding. I am from Coffeyville, but the wedding was held in Pittsburg (home of the Pittsburg State Gorillas). A lot of old friends still live in this area as a lot of them attended Pitt State. Actually, Pittsburg is a great place to get a feel for my hometown because many Field Kindley High School students go to Pitt State.
It was a great weekend, and I had so much fun seeing my friends. I've been missing them so much. Here are some other things that I have missed (or not) about SEK:
*Guys wearing their best camo to bars
*Guys not settling for driving anything with less than a V8 engine
*Guys wearing jeans and tennis shoes to a wedding
*Guys chewing tobacco at a wedding
*Bud Light tallboys on special for $2.75 at the bar
Home, sweet, classless. You gotta love it.
The Wiz
It was a great weekend, and I had so much fun seeing my friends. I've been missing them so much. Here are some other things that I have missed (or not) about SEK:
*Guys wearing their best camo to bars
*Guys not settling for driving anything with less than a V8 engine
*Guys wearing jeans and tennis shoes to a wedding
*Guys chewing tobacco at a wedding
*Bud Light tallboys on special for $2.75 at the bar
Home, sweet, classless. You gotta love it.
The Wiz
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Fuck Chivalry- even DECENCY is dead
Women often discuss the age-old subject of chivalry and whether it is still alive and well in our D-BAG-filled, stripper-loving world. I never have really questioned it myself though- the guys that I try to surround myself with are very chivalrous and take good care of me. I am particular about the men that I hang out with because I am a bit of a feminist and I like men that treat me as an equal in conversation. And the men that I surround myself with (for the most part) are great. I hate chauvinism and they know this. BUT, "my men" are not ones that would ever stand to see a woman mistreated and certainly wouldn't mistreat her themselves.
But since I have been in Chi-Town I have witnessed two travesties that make me wonder not only about the existence of chivalry in our male-counterparts, but DECENCY. Let me paint the two situations for you. (Please read on. Trust me- you'll be APPALLED):
SITUATION ONE------------
So, about a month ago I was on the El. It was REALLY crowed and we were downtown. I was wearing my headphones, but I took them off as I heard yelling about 15 feet away in the same car. What I saw was a medium-sized black man pushing a thin older white woman off of her seat. Pushing her. Seriously. And he was screaming "Get off my mo' fuckin' DOG!" over and over.
It seemed that what had happened was that the man had his dog in a small pet carrier and had set it in the seat beside him (which is not allowed, you are supposed to hold your items in your lap) and the woman had, sort of, perched herself on the edge of the seat holding the dog (the train was really crowded, everyone was standing, the dog wasn't supposed to be there, and there was PLENTY of room for her to do that. She WAS NOT sitting on his "mo' fuckin' dog").
Well, the man DID NOT like this, and just kept screaming at her. Then he tried to push her off the seat. I gotta hand it to the woman though- she held her ground. She held on the to seat and handles and wouldn't budge. But he kept pushing her and pushing her. I seriously thought I was going to see a woman get punched in the face that day. Her friend was standing near her and was yelling at the man to stop. He stood up and got in the friend's face and threatened her.
So what made this situation so crazy? NOT ONE MAN SAID OR DID ANYTHING. Seriously. The train was probably half-full of men, and none of them stopped this man from physically assaulting these two women. None of these men even said one word. NOT ONE.
And, as any of these other girls can attest to, it was IMPOSSIBLE for any of the women on the train to do anything at all. I would have loved to rip this guy a new one and then beat the shit out of him. But, I'm a small woman, and for me to even SAY ANYTHING to this guy would have been very dangerous. He was pushing a woman, I SERIOUSLY DOUBT he would have any qualms with punching a woman either.
So, me and the other women on the train all sat....silent and helpless. And it sucks. Where were the men at in this situation and how could they allow this to go on?
The "friend" finally called the police, and I didn't get to see how it all got resolved because I had to get off the train. It was truly sad.
SITUATION TWO--------------
Just three days ago I was on the El again and got on the train downtown. As soon as I got on I could tell that something wasn't right in the car. I saw this-again- medium-sized black man ranting loudly and everyone else sort of looking away uncomfortably. But, really, that's not uncommon to see on the train. As long as he's ranting about nothing and not hurting anyone- people usually leave guys like this alone (right Nothing Special?). But apparently this wasn't the situation.
Next to him, turned away, were two Asian girls standing and one of them was crying. Then, a girl nearby quietly filled me in on the situation: apparently one of the Asian girls had tried to sit down next to him and he said "You can't sit here you Chinese bitch" and proceeded to go on a huge rant about how this "wasn't her country". But it didn't stop there. While I was standing there he started to yell that he was going to put his "dick in her mouth" and other really awesomely obscene things. Then he proceeded to verbally attack a few other women on the train and pretty soon he was yelling disgusting shit at about 5 women.
But, again, me and the other women silently took it. Why? Because if we would have said anything we would have been endangering ourselves.
Again, though, I ask--WHERE ARE THE MEN? There were several men on this train. Big guys that could have easily intimidated him. They couldn't even look for a CTA official to get the guy kicked off the train? Really? These men let this man degrade and assault 5 women on this train without speaking a word. Disgusting. I was almost in tears listening to the guy because I was so angry that I couldn't do anything about it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, let me state for the record that I understand men not wanting to get involved in a confrontation. My fiance' is the KING of not wanting to get in a confrontation. When trouble arises he is the first to "get the hell outta Dodge." And while I'm glad that he's smart and avoids trouble whenever possible...at times I wish that he and other men could assume the "protector" role more often.
I mean, could you even IMAGINE either of these situations taking place in, say, the 50or 60s? They would have never happened because the men on the train would have come to the rescue of the women being attacked. I guess it's a different world now. And while I like it that women now are more respected and treated as equals (rather than in the 50s and 60s), we still have to admit that we are physically inferior for the most part. We are the more emotional sex. We are the physically smaller and weaker sex. And I'm okay with that because I think that we (at least most of us) are emotionally strong, thick-skinned, and resilient....
...But we cannot defend ourselves in all situations. And I would love to see men step up to the plate more often.
Emotionally,
The Wiz
But since I have been in Chi-Town I have witnessed two travesties that make me wonder not only about the existence of chivalry in our male-counterparts, but DECENCY. Let me paint the two situations for you. (Please read on. Trust me- you'll be APPALLED):
SITUATION ONE------------
So, about a month ago I was on the El. It was REALLY crowed and we were downtown. I was wearing my headphones, but I took them off as I heard yelling about 15 feet away in the same car. What I saw was a medium-sized black man pushing a thin older white woman off of her seat. Pushing her. Seriously. And he was screaming "Get off my mo' fuckin' DOG!" over and over.
It seemed that what had happened was that the man had his dog in a small pet carrier and had set it in the seat beside him (which is not allowed, you are supposed to hold your items in your lap) and the woman had, sort of, perched herself on the edge of the seat holding the dog (the train was really crowded, everyone was standing, the dog wasn't supposed to be there, and there was PLENTY of room for her to do that. She WAS NOT sitting on his "mo' fuckin' dog").
Well, the man DID NOT like this, and just kept screaming at her. Then he tried to push her off the seat. I gotta hand it to the woman though- she held her ground. She held on the to seat and handles and wouldn't budge. But he kept pushing her and pushing her. I seriously thought I was going to see a woman get punched in the face that day. Her friend was standing near her and was yelling at the man to stop. He stood up and got in the friend's face and threatened her.
So what made this situation so crazy? NOT ONE MAN SAID OR DID ANYTHING. Seriously. The train was probably half-full of men, and none of them stopped this man from physically assaulting these two women. None of these men even said one word. NOT ONE.
And, as any of these other girls can attest to, it was IMPOSSIBLE for any of the women on the train to do anything at all. I would have loved to rip this guy a new one and then beat the shit out of him. But, I'm a small woman, and for me to even SAY ANYTHING to this guy would have been very dangerous. He was pushing a woman, I SERIOUSLY DOUBT he would have any qualms with punching a woman either.
So, me and the other women on the train all sat....silent and helpless. And it sucks. Where were the men at in this situation and how could they allow this to go on?
The "friend" finally called the police, and I didn't get to see how it all got resolved because I had to get off the train. It was truly sad.
SITUATION TWO--------------
Just three days ago I was on the El again and got on the train downtown. As soon as I got on I could tell that something wasn't right in the car. I saw this-again- medium-sized black man ranting loudly and everyone else sort of looking away uncomfortably. But, really, that's not uncommon to see on the train. As long as he's ranting about nothing and not hurting anyone- people usually leave guys like this alone (right Nothing Special?). But apparently this wasn't the situation.
Next to him, turned away, were two Asian girls standing and one of them was crying. Then, a girl nearby quietly filled me in on the situation: apparently one of the Asian girls had tried to sit down next to him and he said "You can't sit here you Chinese bitch" and proceeded to go on a huge rant about how this "wasn't her country". But it didn't stop there. While I was standing there he started to yell that he was going to put his "dick in her mouth" and other really awesomely obscene things. Then he proceeded to verbally attack a few other women on the train and pretty soon he was yelling disgusting shit at about 5 women.
But, again, me and the other women silently took it. Why? Because if we would have said anything we would have been endangering ourselves.
Again, though, I ask--WHERE ARE THE MEN? There were several men on this train. Big guys that could have easily intimidated him. They couldn't even look for a CTA official to get the guy kicked off the train? Really? These men let this man degrade and assault 5 women on this train without speaking a word. Disgusting. I was almost in tears listening to the guy because I was so angry that I couldn't do anything about it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, let me state for the record that I understand men not wanting to get involved in a confrontation. My fiance' is the KING of not wanting to get in a confrontation. When trouble arises he is the first to "get the hell outta Dodge." And while I'm glad that he's smart and avoids trouble whenever possible...at times I wish that he and other men could assume the "protector" role more often.
I mean, could you even IMAGINE either of these situations taking place in, say, the 50or 60s? They would have never happened because the men on the train would have come to the rescue of the women being attacked. I guess it's a different world now. And while I like it that women now are more respected and treated as equals (rather than in the 50s and 60s), we still have to admit that we are physically inferior for the most part. We are the more emotional sex. We are the physically smaller and weaker sex. And I'm okay with that because I think that we (at least most of us) are emotionally strong, thick-skinned, and resilient....
...But we cannot defend ourselves in all situations. And I would love to see men step up to the plate more often.
Emotionally,
The Wiz
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Things Disney Has Lied To Us About
Hey everybody. I went snorkeling in Haleiwa yesterday. It went much more splendidly than the last time (which was my first time to snorkel ever). We were out swimming amongst the fish for about an hour and a half. That's right. I, Tanya, am now okay with swimming near fish. So long as they are much much smaller than I am and seem to be completely disinterested in me. Anyway, the ocean was quite clear and we were able to see lots of pretty fish. I also saw some coral and some sea urchins.
My new home by the ocean has opened my eyes to some things, though. Apparently, The Little Mermaid is full of lies and deceits. First of all, if you've ever washed ashore, it's no fun at all. In fact, it's hard as hell to get out of the ocean on your own accord. Also, yesterday I saw an eel. It seems that eels do not work in pairs for evil half-octopus witches, and they are not out to get me. And, one final bit of treachery on Disney's part: We snorkeled for an hour and a half, and I saw no signs of flute-playing lutes, harp-playing carps, or any carribbean band, hot or otherwise.
All that being said, after we were done at the beach, we headed into the town for some food and spirits. We stopped off at this great little Mexican restaurant called Rosie's Cantina. Now, being from Texas, I'm always leery of Mexican food outside of the Lone Star State. However, this food was really good. I had the enchilada. That's right the enchilada. I kept thinking I was saying quesadilla, but in fact, I was saying enchilada. An embarrassing moment for me, when my plate came and there was only one enchilada on it. At any rate, it was delicious and pretty on par for what you can find in Texas. Who knew Haleiwa, Hawaii had good Tex-Mex? Also, they served me the best Pina Colada I've ever had in my life. I don't normally drink Pina Coladas because they taste either too sweet or too rummy at most places. This one was excellent. I give it two very enthusiastic thumbs up.
Good Tex-Mex aside, Haleiwa is a great place to visit in Hawaii. It's about 45 minutes from Honolulu, and the scenery on the drive over is really beautiful. We were at Waimea Beach, which can become crowded as the day wears on, but we got there at 10a.m. There was plenty of parking and the beach wasn't crowded yet. The sand is much softer than the sand on Gray's Beach in Waikiki but not quite as soft as the sand on Sandy Beach on the east side of the island. Also, the life guards were quite handsome. On this particular Saturday, there were many tasty morsels of eye candy to choose from. Some locals showed up, and were actually louder than the tourists. And, there were some good-looking college guys milling about as well.
Okay, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Mahalo.
-T
My new home by the ocean has opened my eyes to some things, though. Apparently, The Little Mermaid is full of lies and deceits. First of all, if you've ever washed ashore, it's no fun at all. In fact, it's hard as hell to get out of the ocean on your own accord. Also, yesterday I saw an eel. It seems that eels do not work in pairs for evil half-octopus witches, and they are not out to get me. And, one final bit of treachery on Disney's part: We snorkeled for an hour and a half, and I saw no signs of flute-playing lutes, harp-playing carps, or any carribbean band, hot or otherwise.
All that being said, after we were done at the beach, we headed into the town for some food and spirits. We stopped off at this great little Mexican restaurant called Rosie's Cantina. Now, being from Texas, I'm always leery of Mexican food outside of the Lone Star State. However, this food was really good. I had the enchilada. That's right the enchilada. I kept thinking I was saying quesadilla, but in fact, I was saying enchilada. An embarrassing moment for me, when my plate came and there was only one enchilada on it. At any rate, it was delicious and pretty on par for what you can find in Texas. Who knew Haleiwa, Hawaii had good Tex-Mex? Also, they served me the best Pina Colada I've ever had in my life. I don't normally drink Pina Coladas because they taste either too sweet or too rummy at most places. This one was excellent. I give it two very enthusiastic thumbs up.
Good Tex-Mex aside, Haleiwa is a great place to visit in Hawaii. It's about 45 minutes from Honolulu, and the scenery on the drive over is really beautiful. We were at Waimea Beach, which can become crowded as the day wears on, but we got there at 10a.m. There was plenty of parking and the beach wasn't crowded yet. The sand is much softer than the sand on Gray's Beach in Waikiki but not quite as soft as the sand on Sandy Beach on the east side of the island. Also, the life guards were quite handsome. On this particular Saturday, there were many tasty morsels of eye candy to choose from. Some locals showed up, and were actually louder than the tourists. And, there were some good-looking college guys milling about as well.
Okay, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Mahalo.
-T
My Biggest Fear in the Big City
Living in this environment, I have a lot of fears. I encounter some really weird/creepy people on an almost minutely basis. And crime is all around me and as a young girl my safety is always threatened. I am constantly on high alert. Here are some of the scariest/weirdest things that I've seen with my own two eyes the past 3 months in Chicago:
*A man physically assaulting a woman on the "el" (subway)
*Drug deals galore on the street PLUS (as a bonus) a guy rolling a joint on the street-corner next to my apartment
*Four big, scary, 'roid-raging D-BAGS screaming obscenities at Cam and I downtown late one night (for no apparent reason other than the 'roids).
*a lady on the "el" who had shit her pants and was pan-handling.
BUT, these truly bizarre/scary experiences aren't the point in this entry. While I encounter things that threaten my safety on a daily basis, I really have become quite acclimated to living life here. So, I could tell you about the weird/creepy things that I see all day without blinking an eye. Strangely, despite it, I don't living a constant state of fear.
What I want to tell you about is my BIGGEST and certainly MOST IRRATIONAL fear...
...WALKING THROUGH REVOLVING DOORS.
And I know this sounds weird. I know it does. But- I have a bit of an anxiety problem, and I keep myself up at night worrying about really stupid things. And this is a REALLY stupid one.
See, there are A LOT of revolving doors here in Chicago- it's a big city and they need to get people shuffled around as quickly and efficiently as possible. So, I encounter them all the time at the "el" stops, stores, restaurants. Even the grocery stores all have revolving doors.
And, always, as I see the revolving door looming ahead of me, I get this really uneasy feeling. I just know that it's going to be disaster. I approach the revolving traps before me knowing that one of the following is going to happy:
A) The door will get get going too fast and I will get caught up in it like a damned cartoon character just rotating around and around (which I know isn't physically possible but that doesn't even matter when it comes to irrational fears)
B) The people behind me will push the door too fast and I'm going to get tripped up, fall down, and get smooshed
0r
C) I'm going to be too cautious (because I go REALLY slow with these deathtraps) and go so slowly that people behind me get mad at me.
Either way SOMETHING embarrassing is going to happen. I always know it. Nothing has happened yet. Thankfully. But, I know something will happen soon. And I get this sick feeling in my stomach each time I approach a revolving door. Is this weird and stupid? Yes. Do I have MUCH BIGGER things to worry about living in a city like Chicago? Yes. But I can't help it. Embarrassing.
The Wiz
*A man physically assaulting a woman on the "el" (subway)
*Drug deals galore on the street PLUS (as a bonus) a guy rolling a joint on the street-corner next to my apartment
*Four big, scary, 'roid-raging D-BAGS screaming obscenities at Cam and I downtown late one night (for no apparent reason other than the 'roids).
*a lady on the "el" who had shit her pants and was pan-handling.
BUT, these truly bizarre/scary experiences aren't the point in this entry. While I encounter things that threaten my safety on a daily basis, I really have become quite acclimated to living life here. So, I could tell you about the weird/creepy things that I see all day without blinking an eye. Strangely, despite it, I don't living a constant state of fear.
What I want to tell you about is my BIGGEST and certainly MOST IRRATIONAL fear...
...WALKING THROUGH REVOLVING DOORS.
And I know this sounds weird. I know it does. But- I have a bit of an anxiety problem, and I keep myself up at night worrying about really stupid things. And this is a REALLY stupid one.
See, there are A LOT of revolving doors here in Chicago- it's a big city and they need to get people shuffled around as quickly and efficiently as possible. So, I encounter them all the time at the "el" stops, stores, restaurants. Even the grocery stores all have revolving doors.
And, always, as I see the revolving door looming ahead of me, I get this really uneasy feeling. I just know that it's going to be disaster. I approach the revolving traps before me knowing that one of the following is going to happy:
A) The door will get get going too fast and I will get caught up in it like a damned cartoon character just rotating around and around (which I know isn't physically possible but that doesn't even matter when it comes to irrational fears)
B) The people behind me will push the door too fast and I'm going to get tripped up, fall down, and get smooshed
0r
C) I'm going to be too cautious (because I go REALLY slow with these deathtraps) and go so slowly that people behind me get mad at me.
Either way SOMETHING embarrassing is going to happen. I always know it. Nothing has happened yet. Thankfully. But, I know something will happen soon. And I get this sick feeling in my stomach each time I approach a revolving door. Is this weird and stupid? Yes. Do I have MUCH BIGGER things to worry about living in a city like Chicago? Yes. But I can't help it. Embarrassing.
The Wiz
Friday, October 5, 2007
Why Didn't I Think of That?
All this time I've been wrapping my ecstasy up in my Popple. I should have tried this...
Officers Find Ecstasy in Mr. Potato Head
Upon opening the parcel, the officers were greeted with the smiling face of the popular children's toy, which features a potato-like head and removable facial features. But when they removed a panel fro
m the back of the toy, the officers found 10.34 ounces of ecstasy in a plastic bag.
The Wiz
Officers Find Ecstasy in Mr. Potato Head
Upon opening the parcel, the officers were greeted with the smiling face of the popular children's toy, which features a potato-like head and removable facial features. But when they removed a panel fro
m the back of the toy, the officers found 10.34 ounces of ecstasy in a plastic bag.The Australian Customs Service referred the matter to federal police, but no arrests were immediately made, the agency said. The maximum penalty for importing drugs to Australia is life imprisonment.
"Whilst this is one of the more unusual concealments that we have seen in recent times, people need to be aware that Customs officers are alert to unusual and often outlandish methods of concealment," Customs Director Post Karen Williams said.The Wiz
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Get over it, you pansy ass pussies
Ok. I'm pissed off. And, I'm gainfully employed after only 3 days in Hawaii (and I'm in HAWAII) so getting me pissed off should be difficult to do. I just read that a whole bunch of Philippine cry babies called in to ABC studios because in the season premiere of Desperate Housewives, Terri Hatcher's character made an off-hand disparaging remark about the quality of the Philippines' medical training. It's Terri Hatcher on Desperate Housewives for crying out loud! It's not like Anderson Cooper said it on CNN. It's a stupid, fictitious show. If Terri Hatcher's character wants to rant on and on about how Hitler did the world a service, or about how Rosa Parks was an uppity woman, who gives a shit? It's just make believe. That woman (whoever Terri plays, I don't pay much attention to that show) isn't actually going around telling people that the medical programs of the Philippines are sub-par. And, the fact that there are 30,000 people who signed an online petition to have ABC publicly apologize just goes to show that the world is full of card-carrying retards. And that is a disparaging statement that deserves some uproar because it is an insult to retarded people! I'm sure that enrollment in medical programs isn't going to plummet in the Philippines because of this show. In fact, I don't think this show really has any impact on the world at large. So, these cry babies are just shooting themselves in the foot by flagging this issue. If they could hold off on a knee-jerk, bleeding-heart reaction, no one would even have cared about any of this. But, as it is, now we all have to read about it, and then feel bad because a fictional character doesn't value the medical programs in the Philippines. Seriously, if this show is an affront to anyone, it should be housewives.
Ugh. Peace out.
-Nothing Special
Ugh. Peace out.
-Nothing Special
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Oh, IT'S ON now
Well, they've forced me to do this. I will now prove that my dog is more awesome than any of my cohort's dogs.
She is a Jack Russel Terrier and her name is Jackie (stupid, I know, but we didn't pick it. She was given to us by my brother and sister-in-law when they had a baby. If WE had named her her name would have been Robocop).
Our dog watches TV with her owner on the couch in a hilarious manner, as seen here:
She also values health and works out on the treadmill as seen below:
She is hilarious just like her owners and does great physical comedy:
But most importantly- she's just damned adorable:
You may notice that Nothing Special's dog Trixie looks a lot like my Jackie. Matter of fact- she's a bit of a dopple-ganger. HOWEVER, they differ in character. Jackie acts Mike Myers's "hyper-hypo" character from Saturday Night Live and Trixie acts more like Woody Allen.
My dog rules.
The Wiz
She is a Jack Russel Terrier and her name is Jackie (stupid, I know, but we didn't pick it. She was given to us by my brother and sister-in-law when they had a baby. If WE had named her her name would have been Robocop).
Our dog watches TV with her owner on the couch in a hilarious manner, as seen here:
She also values health and works out on the treadmill as seen below:
She is hilarious just like her owners and does great physical comedy:
But most importantly- she's just damned adorable:
You may notice that Nothing Special's dog Trixie looks a lot like my Jackie. Matter of fact- she's a bit of a dopple-ganger. HOWEVER, they differ in character. Jackie acts Mike Myers's "hyper-hypo" character from Saturday Night Live and Trixie acts more like Woody Allen.
My dog rules.
The Wiz
I Have a Lopsided Dog
After having read the Wizard's post about her lovely dog puking, I guess I should tell you all about my dog.
For some reason, I think my dog Teddy is lopsided. I'm thinking it is either his gigantic, pointy ears or his ten-ton backside.
Whatever it is, it made him fall off the bed last night...
TWICE.
Once into the huge wire kennel up against the wall.
Try waking up to that at 2:00 a.m....
and then again at 4:00.
Dogs are wicked awesome.
For some reason, I think my dog Teddy is lopsided. I'm thinking it is either his gigantic, pointy ears or his ten-ton backside.
Whatever it is, it made him fall off the bed last night...
TWICE.
Once into the huge wire kennel up against the wall.
Try waking up to that at 2:00 a.m....
and then again at 4:00.
Dogs are wicked awesome.
Oooh, Ohhh, I have a dog, too!
All this blogging about our dogs makes me want to do the same. Well, I tend to blindly follow what everyone else is doing anyway. So, I couldn't take my sweet, neurotic, crazy dog to Hawaii with me for the aforementioned reasons. There's no way that dog would have made it for 5 hours in the cargo hold of a plane. I miss her so much that I put up a slide show of all the pics I've taken of her on my desktop. I miss her so much that I miss telling people I can't stay out too much later because I have to get home and take my dog out. I miss her so much that I still collect plastic bags from the grocery store so I have something to pick up her poop in. I miss her so much that I almost bought her a toy at the store yesterday, just so I could mail it to my parents and they could give it to her, and she'd have no idea what the hell was going on because, let's face it, she's a dog. And not a very bright one at that. So, before I get all weepy...here's to you, Miss Trixie Lynn Smoothe.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Reality TV on the Real
Alright, so I admittedly have an obsession with Reality TV. And while I would like to think of myself as someone who surrounds themselves with things to stimulate my mind...that really goes out the window with Reality TV. It's purely mindless entertainment. And I love every minute of it!! So, throughout the weeks of premieres and finales and every mindless minute in between, I am going to keep you abreast of all of my favorite Reality TV trash!
Let's start out with my old stand-bys that I love:
AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL- Wednesdays 8/7 central, CW
So, this season is Cycle 9 and we are 2 weeks in as of tomorrow. "How in the hell has there been 9 seasons of this shit and I still don't care about it?" you might ask yourself.
Truth be told, I'm pretty excited about this season because there are actually several attractive girls this time around. Last season I was really disappointed. I know that I'm no model, but I know what "attractive" looks like, and those girls just weren't cutting it last year. I had Rene picked as the winner, and she came in third after that completely insane Russian bitch and the not-so-spicy Latina, Jaslene. My pick aside, they were all not very attractive by model standards. I wasn't thrilled.
Cycle 8 Winner Jaslene = busted tranny
But this year I am stoked. Even though she's not my favorite I am picking Lisa, the dancer (stripper) from New Jersey for the winner. She looks like model. Really though, I think that Janet is really cute and Victoria, a student at Yale, is also really cute (but Cameron likes Victoria so I'm going to root against her). Also, I don't think that someone intelligent enough to go to Yale should waste their intellect walking down a runway. She could cure cancer- let's not waste her.
Janet- My favorite
Victoria = too smart to model
Lisa = is gonna win and needs to 'cause she's a stripper
Here is what is seriously pissing me off about the season though- the girls are terrible, terrible bitches to contestant Heather, who suffers with Asperger's Syndrome. The girls keep complaining that she "isn't social" or she is "socially awkward" or she "isolates herself" or, most ignorantly, that she acts "weird." I want to punch these bitches in the face. If for once in their vacant lives they would pick up a book or surf the "interweb" (as they might call it), they would know that Asperger's is very similar to Autism, and people who suffer from this disease tend to have difficulty making personal connections and relationships, and also tend to be socially cut off or isolated. But, of course, these daft bitches just write Heather off as being "weird." You know what I think is weird? Not seeking literature to acquire knowledge. I hate these bitches. I hope Heather takes the whole thing.
BEAUTY AND THE GEEK- Tuesdays 8/7 central, CW
So, it's Season 4 and we are 3 weeks in. I got hooked on this show last season with the help of the old fiance'. And I love it. If you've never seen B&tG, here's the deal: they pair up "geeks" and "beauties" and make them do competitions in things that are NOT their fortes; for example the "beauties" will do political debates and put computers together and the "geeks" will decorate a room for a girl or put together a romantic basket. The idea is that they learn from one another, grow, and "become MORE than just the beauty and the geek" (according to the show's intro). It's actually very interesting and the participants usually walk away more well-rounded people.
So, the "beauties" (up until this season) have always been chicks. They get girls who are stereotypically "beautiful"- huge tits, blonde hair, tan, awesome body, etc. and they also make sure that these girls are COMPLETE MORONS. Matter of fact, one reason that I like to watch the show is to see the stupid shit that the "beauties" say in their confessionals. It's awesome.
The "geeks" have always been dudes, and they have always been supreme geeks- guys that go to MIT or work as astrophysicists or something. This season we have a LARPER (Live Action Role Play), and a guy who is president of a Rubber Band Club. And here is the thing about geeks- they are adorable and I love them. I always end up having a crush on at least one per season. I mean- let's be honest- I'm marrying a "geek." While he's not socially awkward like a lot of the participants on Beauty and the Geek, his interests are stereotypically "geeky" (Ladysmith Black Mambazo or Battlestar Gallactica anyone?). It's no wonder that I like this show- I wish that every girl would see the light and snag her an awesome geek.
Anywho- back to the show. While I am excited to see the show back, I am PISSED about something. They have decided to shake things up this season and add something new in the house- a MALE "beauty" and a FEMALE "geek." I have no problem with this. The problem that I have is that the male "beauty" is an actor, Sam Horrigan, who appeared as a child in movies like Little Giants and Brink!, and as recently as this year in the film Accepted and the TV show Desperate Housewives. Here is a pic if you can't remember this asshole---
Sam Horrigan in Brink! on Disney (he was the villian opposite Erik von Stratten...God, why do I know this?)
And see, I don't have a problem with them bringing in an actor as long as:
A) they didn't know that he was an actor (which is impossible because he just got done shooting a movie)
or
B) he was brought in as an actor on purpose and it will be revealed in a later episode why they put him on the show knowing that he is an actor.
But, right now they haven't revealed anything publicly, which is why I have a problem with them treating their audience like stupid assholes assuming that we wouldn't find out that he was an actor PLAYING a "beauty". I mean- we would have to be stupid to not recognize this guy and do the math. And the fact that they would put an actor in there on purpose means that the producers aren't giving their audience very much credit. Hopefully it was on purpose and we are SUPPOSED to figure out that he's an actor.
On the show he lists his occupation as "club promoter" and goes by the name Sam. He also acts like a complete meat-head and douchebag- so maybe is a better actor than the industry gives him credit for?
Either way- I'm anxious to see how it plays out.
On another note, I don't like that they added the "hot guy" or "beauty" in the equation because the "beauties" can't stop drooling over Sam and remember why they are on the show. He's already hooked up with one girl, and who knows how many sluts he'll bang before the show is over. The poor "geeks" get shoved aside, and what these guys really need is a little attention to build up their self-esteem. All this D-Bag, Sam, does is pull the girls' attention AWAY from the geeks (where it needs to be). Actor or not- I hate him.
THE REAL WORLD SYDNEY-- Wednesdays 9/8 central, MTV
Wow. After the last few seasons I didn't think that MTV could put together a less interesting cast of "7 strangers picked to live in a house"...but they have really outdone themselves. First let me say that I am an O.G. when it comes to MTV's Real World. I started out watching original New York season and stayed with them through Miami, Los Angeles, Hawaii, San Franscisco, New Orleans, Seattle, Boston, London, Paris, Chicago, and ALL the crazy places that they have been (my favorite casts are San Francisco, Hawaii, New Orleans, Seattle, Miami, and the original New York).
But I think the show started to go seriously south with the Las Vegas cast. They stopped caring about finding interesting people with real personalities and cool occupations and just tried to stick as many hot, horny 20-somethings in there as they could. It became about hooking up instead of growing as people. The girls were all hot idiots (Trishelle being a pioneer) and the guys were all hot frat boys (I'll give Steven the credit for starting this trend). They weren't interesting at all.
Remember Kevin from Season 1? He was a poet and an author. How about Pedro from San Francisco? He was living with AIDS and traveling around speaking about the subject. How about Rachel from that same season? She worked for the Republican party. And Judd? He was a cartoonist. How about Sarah from Miami? Comic book editor. Justin from Season 8 was openly gay and went to Harvard. Elka from the Boston cast was Mexican-American and grew up a conservative virgin. Sean, from the same cast, was a conservative lumber-jack who had to live with Montana, a staunch feminist. Even as recently as the Chicago cast in 2002 we had a recovering-alcoholic still-in-the-closet homosexual, an ex-foster kid and possible hypochondriac, a Jew with an eating disorder, and a black son of a preacher. Now THAT makes for interesting television! They weren't all beautiful, but they had something that the recent casts haven't had: substance.
Of course, things have changed. With the Las Vegas cast, everyone was beautiful and hooking up with one another. I would recall the highlights of other casts since then and their personalities, upbringings, or occupations- but there just AREN'T ANY. I have liked a few of them (Alton and Irulan from Las Vegas, Ace from Paris, Randy and Jacquese from San Diego, and all the dudes from the Denver cast), but it wasn't because they were interesting in the least- it was more because they were cool and I wanted to hang out with them.
You know what was the WORST Season? It's a tie- Philadelphia and Austin. Can you even NAME anyone from the Philly cast? Neither can I. And Austin was bad because it had THE DUMBEST group of people. Let me jog your memory:
-Melinda was an empty blonde with huge cans. Job? I don't know. No one cared
-Wes was a rich frat boy from Kansas City
-Danny was a carpenter or something from Boston (and a HUGE moron D-BAG)
-Johanna was exotically beautiful but that proved to be the best thing about her
-Nehemiah was a student and loved his culture. That made him slightly interesting
-Rachel was a winy C-word that only got cast because she used to be in the military
-Lacey was boring as hell but the most interesting one because she had a boyfriend who was in a wheelchair...and that's pretty interesting.
Real World Austin = Worst Cast Ever
So that was Austin. And I effing hated it. I have hated every season since Las Vegas. Stupid MTV.
Is it because I'm old? If it is- tell me, please. Because I know that when I STARTED watching Real World I was 10-years-ol and everyone older than me seemed cool. So maybe it's just that watching a bunch of 20-year-olds party doesn't interest me anymore? Or is it really that they aren't casting interesting people? I hope so. I don't want to lose touch.
Soooooooo, this Season, we are in Sydney and the girls are TERRIBLE. You know if you've been watching. We have:
-KellyAnne
What is her job and/or background? Who knows...MTV doesn't give us that anymore because they don't cast based on that anymore. What they DO offer for a bio is that she "is hot and she knows it, which she uses to her advantage". Basically, this girl flirts with every man in sight because she needs attention 24/7 and she is the exact type of girl that I hate. Case closed.
-Shauvon
I KIND OF like this girl. She's real generically hot, but she's at least nice and seems half-way intelligent for brief moments. Plus- she can actually list a real job of sorts. She's a sex columnist.
-Parisa
She's completely neurotic and has dreams of being a singer...and she should stop that immediately. She constantly sings on the show. All of her cast-mates hate it, and so do I. What is interesting about her is that she is Muslim. That's topical, so MTV cast her.
-Trisha
This could be the most terrible bitch in Real World history. She is so hateful and complains constantly about the most mundane things. She was raised super-conservative, and now she's your average, run-of-the-mill, holier-than-thou HYPOCRITE. For example, she refused to go with the other cast mates to a Gay Pride Parade, but (of course), she is completely okay with drinking, dressing like a slut-bag, cussing like a sailor, and being completely hateful to everyone in sight. I hope she reads this so I can tell her this: If Jesus IS real- he probably would want you to stop being a complete bitch.
Trisha- I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty sure Jesus hates you
Now for the dudes, we have the coolest group of dudes since New Orleans.
-Cohutta
This guy is from Georgia, and he is country-fried as hell! I love him! He's very sweet and down-to-Earth. He's funny and nice to everyone. He's very conservative, but doesn't try to push his beliefs on anyone. Very cool.
-Isaac
I want to party with him. He is hilarious and cool as hell. My favorite line of the season was this exchange:
Trisha is listening to some musicians on the street. She starts to cry and sing along as they play Open the Eyes of my Heart, Lord. Isaac walks up to her and says "Are you crying? Dang- these guys must be GOOD."
It was awesome.
-Dunbar
He's kind of a D-Bag, but he's better than a lot of the guys that they cast. At least he's got an interesting past- abuse victim and moved out on his own at a young age. He also has a girlfriend at home and actually seems to be staying committed to her. That's a miracle. So that wraps up the Sydney cast. If you want to get EXTREMELY irritated with MTV and wonder how The Real World could fall so far from grace, you should check it out.
THE BIGGEST LOSER- Tuesday 8/7 central, NBC
If you don't watch The Biggest Loser, start immediately! We're only 3 weeks into the new season, and it's as good as ever. You know the gist, right?
They take super-fat men and women and put them through rigorous training in order to lose weight. They vote each other off and the winner ends up with a big pile of money. What I LOVE about The Biggest Loser is that even the losers win. Even if you get sent home- you've lost weight, learned a lot about health an nutrition, and jump-started weight loss for the rest of your life. It's great!
I admit- I get all warm and fuzzy when I watch this. Plus, I'm obsessed with weight-loss and exercise, so I feel good when I see others get into it as well. Plus, as a bonus- there is always at least one guy and one girl who end up SUPER-HOT at the end of the shot after they've lost 200 pounds. Gotta love that.
PROJECT RUNWAY-- Wednesdays 10/9 central starting Nov. 14, BRAVO
As you see, this one hasn't started back up yet, but I've been watching it for two seasons. It's a fashion design contest, and even if you don't have the slightest interest in fashion you will love to see all the drama go down. I love/hate the egos. Watch it!
I LOVE NEW YORK 2-- Mondays 9/8 central starting Oct. 8, VH1
Why do I watch this? I don't know. It must be the same reason that I watch ALL of the Reality TV garbage that VH1 spits out. I love Celebrity Fit Club, Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, The Surreal Life, Flavor of Love (which premieres in January, mind you). New York is crazy and completely a caricature of a person...but I love watching the madness. I just sit back and laugh. I can't wait for this season and for these assholes to make a completely mockery of love and relationships.
Now it is time for shows that are new in my viewing repertoire or are "new to me" as they say:
KID NATION-- Wednesdays, 8/7 central, CBS
If you are not watching this, you should. It was very controversial before it aired because of issues with the children being supervised and such. Basically they took 40 kids (ages 8-15) and the kids are building a community together in an abandoned town called Bonanza City. It's adorable. The kids do "confessionals" and they say the most hilarious things. I have a favorite kid already- he's a funny little Jewish kid named Jared. And it's actually inspiring to see kids coming together and making good choices with all of the poor choices that I see kids making day-to-day.
THE HILLS-- Mondays, 10/9 central, MTV
Why is anyone watching this show? I watched it twice and I felt like I may have lost a few IQ points. If you are watching this show- STOP IMMEDIATELY.
Now, a preview of a show that I am SO excited about I can't hardly stand it:
AMERICA'S MOST SMARTEST MODEL-- Sundays 9/8 central starting Oct. 7, VH1
Now THIS is going to be great. I'm not really even sure what the gist of the show is- but I know that Ben Stein is hosting it and they are going to make supermodels look REALLY STUPID. And I'm all about that.
And that's it folks- my Reality on the Real for the week. If you made it all the way through, you should get a prize. Now that I've introduced you to all of my favorite reality trash, I'll keep you posted on the good, bad, and ugly of each show.
Actually, can we do a poll? Leave a comment with your vote--
WORST REAL WORLD CAST EVER:
A) Season 17- Key West
B) Season 16- Austin
C) Season 15- Philadelphia
Vote or die. Hugs.
Wizard of Awesome
P.S. I hope this entry was better than the one about my dog shitting and puking
Let's start out with my old stand-bys that I love:
AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL- Wednesdays 8/7 central, CW
So, this season is Cycle 9 and we are 2 weeks in as of tomorrow. "How in the hell has there been 9 seasons of this shit and I still don't care about it?" you might ask yourself.
Truth be told, I'm pretty excited about this season because there are actually several attractive girls this time around. Last season I was really disappointed. I know that I'm no model, but I know what "attractive" looks like, and those girls just weren't cutting it last year. I had Rene picked as the winner, and she came in third after that completely insane Russian bitch and the not-so-spicy Latina, Jaslene. My pick aside, they were all not very attractive by model standards. I wasn't thrilled.
Cycle 8 Winner Jaslene = busted tranny
But this year I am stoked. Even though she's not my favorite I am picking Lisa, the dancer (stripper) from New Jersey for the winner. She looks like model. Really though, I think that Janet is really cute and Victoria, a student at Yale, is also really cute (but Cameron likes Victoria so I'm going to root against her). Also, I don't think that someone intelligent enough to go to Yale should waste their intellect walking down a runway. She could cure cancer- let's not waste her.
Janet- My favorite
Victoria = too smart to model
Lisa = is gonna win and needs to 'cause she's a stripper
Here is what is seriously pissing me off about the season though- the girls are terrible, terrible bitches to contestant Heather, who suffers with Asperger's Syndrome. The girls keep complaining that she "isn't social" or she is "socially awkward" or she "isolates herself" or, most ignorantly, that she acts "weird." I want to punch these bitches in the face. If for once in their vacant lives they would pick up a book or surf the "interweb" (as they might call it), they would know that Asperger's is very similar to Autism, and people who suffer from this disease tend to have difficulty making personal connections and relationships, and also tend to be socially cut off or isolated. But, of course, these daft bitches just write Heather off as being "weird." You know what I think is weird? Not seeking literature to acquire knowledge. I hate these bitches. I hope Heather takes the whole thing.
BEAUTY AND THE GEEK- Tuesdays 8/7 central, CW
So, it's Season 4 and we are 3 weeks in. I got hooked on this show last season with the help of the old fiance'. And I love it. If you've never seen B&tG, here's the deal: they pair up "geeks" and "beauties" and make them do competitions in things that are NOT their fortes; for example the "beauties" will do political debates and put computers together and the "geeks" will decorate a room for a girl or put together a romantic basket. The idea is that they learn from one another, grow, and "become MORE than just the beauty and the geek" (according to the show's intro). It's actually very interesting and the participants usually walk away more well-rounded people.
So, the "beauties" (up until this season) have always been chicks. They get girls who are stereotypically "beautiful"- huge tits, blonde hair, tan, awesome body, etc. and they also make sure that these girls are COMPLETE MORONS. Matter of fact, one reason that I like to watch the show is to see the stupid shit that the "beauties" say in their confessionals. It's awesome.
The "geeks" have always been dudes, and they have always been supreme geeks- guys that go to MIT or work as astrophysicists or something. This season we have a LARPER (Live Action Role Play), and a guy who is president of a Rubber Band Club. And here is the thing about geeks- they are adorable and I love them. I always end up having a crush on at least one per season. I mean- let's be honest- I'm marrying a "geek." While he's not socially awkward like a lot of the participants on Beauty and the Geek, his interests are stereotypically "geeky" (Ladysmith Black Mambazo or Battlestar Gallactica anyone?). It's no wonder that I like this show- I wish that every girl would see the light and snag her an awesome geek.
Anywho- back to the show. While I am excited to see the show back, I am PISSED about something. They have decided to shake things up this season and add something new in the house- a MALE "beauty" and a FEMALE "geek." I have no problem with this. The problem that I have is that the male "beauty" is an actor, Sam Horrigan, who appeared as a child in movies like Little Giants and Brink!, and as recently as this year in the film Accepted and the TV show Desperate Housewives. Here is a pic if you can't remember this asshole---
Sam Horrigan in Brink! on Disney (he was the villian opposite Erik von Stratten...God, why do I know this?)
And see, I don't have a problem with them bringing in an actor as long as:
A) they didn't know that he was an actor (which is impossible because he just got done shooting a movie)
or
B) he was brought in as an actor on purpose and it will be revealed in a later episode why they put him on the show knowing that he is an actor.
But, right now they haven't revealed anything publicly, which is why I have a problem with them treating their audience like stupid assholes assuming that we wouldn't find out that he was an actor PLAYING a "beauty". I mean- we would have to be stupid to not recognize this guy and do the math. And the fact that they would put an actor in there on purpose means that the producers aren't giving their audience very much credit. Hopefully it was on purpose and we are SUPPOSED to figure out that he's an actor.
On the show he lists his occupation as "club promoter" and goes by the name Sam. He also acts like a complete meat-head and douchebag- so maybe is a better actor than the industry gives him credit for?
Either way- I'm anxious to see how it plays out.
On another note, I don't like that they added the "hot guy" or "beauty" in the equation because the "beauties" can't stop drooling over Sam and remember why they are on the show. He's already hooked up with one girl, and who knows how many sluts he'll bang before the show is over. The poor "geeks" get shoved aside, and what these guys really need is a little attention to build up their self-esteem. All this D-Bag, Sam, does is pull the girls' attention AWAY from the geeks (where it needs to be). Actor or not- I hate him.
THE REAL WORLD SYDNEY-- Wednesdays 9/8 central, MTV
Wow. After the last few seasons I didn't think that MTV could put together a less interesting cast of "7 strangers picked to live in a house"...but they have really outdone themselves. First let me say that I am an O.G. when it comes to MTV's Real World. I started out watching original New York season and stayed with them through Miami, Los Angeles, Hawaii, San Franscisco, New Orleans, Seattle, Boston, London, Paris, Chicago, and ALL the crazy places that they have been (my favorite casts are San Francisco, Hawaii, New Orleans, Seattle, Miami, and the original New York).
But I think the show started to go seriously south with the Las Vegas cast. They stopped caring about finding interesting people with real personalities and cool occupations and just tried to stick as many hot, horny 20-somethings in there as they could. It became about hooking up instead of growing as people. The girls were all hot idiots (Trishelle being a pioneer) and the guys were all hot frat boys (I'll give Steven the credit for starting this trend). They weren't interesting at all.
Remember Kevin from Season 1? He was a poet and an author. How about Pedro from San Francisco? He was living with AIDS and traveling around speaking about the subject. How about Rachel from that same season? She worked for the Republican party. And Judd? He was a cartoonist. How about Sarah from Miami? Comic book editor. Justin from Season 8 was openly gay and went to Harvard. Elka from the Boston cast was Mexican-American and grew up a conservative virgin. Sean, from the same cast, was a conservative lumber-jack who had to live with Montana, a staunch feminist. Even as recently as the Chicago cast in 2002 we had a recovering-alcoholic still-in-the-closet homosexual, an ex-foster kid and possible hypochondriac, a Jew with an eating disorder, and a black son of a preacher. Now THAT makes for interesting television! They weren't all beautiful, but they had something that the recent casts haven't had: substance.
Of course, things have changed. With the Las Vegas cast, everyone was beautiful and hooking up with one another. I would recall the highlights of other casts since then and their personalities, upbringings, or occupations- but there just AREN'T ANY. I have liked a few of them (Alton and Irulan from Las Vegas, Ace from Paris, Randy and Jacquese from San Diego, and all the dudes from the Denver cast), but it wasn't because they were interesting in the least- it was more because they were cool and I wanted to hang out with them.
You know what was the WORST Season? It's a tie- Philadelphia and Austin. Can you even NAME anyone from the Philly cast? Neither can I. And Austin was bad because it had THE DUMBEST group of people. Let me jog your memory:
-Melinda was an empty blonde with huge cans. Job? I don't know. No one cared
-Wes was a rich frat boy from Kansas City
-Danny was a carpenter or something from Boston (and a HUGE moron D-BAG)
-Johanna was exotically beautiful but that proved to be the best thing about her
-Nehemiah was a student and loved his culture. That made him slightly interesting
-Rachel was a winy C-word that only got cast because she used to be in the military
-Lacey was boring as hell but the most interesting one because she had a boyfriend who was in a wheelchair...and that's pretty interesting.
Real World Austin = Worst Cast Ever
So that was Austin. And I effing hated it. I have hated every season since Las Vegas. Stupid MTV.
Is it because I'm old? If it is- tell me, please. Because I know that when I STARTED watching Real World I was 10-years-ol and everyone older than me seemed cool. So maybe it's just that watching a bunch of 20-year-olds party doesn't interest me anymore? Or is it really that they aren't casting interesting people? I hope so. I don't want to lose touch.
Soooooooo, this Season, we are in Sydney and the girls are TERRIBLE. You know if you've been watching. We have:
-KellyAnne
What is her job and/or background? Who knows...MTV doesn't give us that anymore because they don't cast based on that anymore. What they DO offer for a bio is that she "is hot and she knows it, which she uses to her advantage". Basically, this girl flirts with every man in sight because she needs attention 24/7 and she is the exact type of girl that I hate. Case closed.
-Shauvon
I KIND OF like this girl. She's real generically hot, but she's at least nice and seems half-way intelligent for brief moments. Plus- she can actually list a real job of sorts. She's a sex columnist.
-Parisa
She's completely neurotic and has dreams of being a singer...and she should stop that immediately. She constantly sings on the show. All of her cast-mates hate it, and so do I. What is interesting about her is that she is Muslim. That's topical, so MTV cast her.
-Trisha
This could be the most terrible bitch in Real World history. She is so hateful and complains constantly about the most mundane things. She was raised super-conservative, and now she's your average, run-of-the-mill, holier-than-thou HYPOCRITE. For example, she refused to go with the other cast mates to a Gay Pride Parade, but (of course), she is completely okay with drinking, dressing like a slut-bag, cussing like a sailor, and being completely hateful to everyone in sight. I hope she reads this so I can tell her this: If Jesus IS real- he probably would want you to stop being a complete bitch.
Trisha- I can't say for sure, but I'm pretty sure Jesus hates you
Now for the dudes, we have the coolest group of dudes since New Orleans.
-Cohutta
This guy is from Georgia, and he is country-fried as hell! I love him! He's very sweet and down-to-Earth. He's funny and nice to everyone. He's very conservative, but doesn't try to push his beliefs on anyone. Very cool.
-Isaac
I want to party with him. He is hilarious and cool as hell. My favorite line of the season was this exchange:
Trisha is listening to some musicians on the street. She starts to cry and sing along as they play Open the Eyes of my Heart, Lord. Isaac walks up to her and says "Are you crying? Dang- these guys must be GOOD."
It was awesome.
-Dunbar
He's kind of a D-Bag, but he's better than a lot of the guys that they cast. At least he's got an interesting past- abuse victim and moved out on his own at a young age. He also has a girlfriend at home and actually seems to be staying committed to her. That's a miracle. So that wraps up the Sydney cast. If you want to get EXTREMELY irritated with MTV and wonder how The Real World could fall so far from grace, you should check it out.
THE BIGGEST LOSER- Tuesday 8/7 central, NBC
If you don't watch The Biggest Loser, start immediately! We're only 3 weeks into the new season, and it's as good as ever. You know the gist, right?
They take super-fat men and women and put them through rigorous training in order to lose weight. They vote each other off and the winner ends up with a big pile of money. What I LOVE about The Biggest Loser is that even the losers win. Even if you get sent home- you've lost weight, learned a lot about health an nutrition, and jump-started weight loss for the rest of your life. It's great!
I admit- I get all warm and fuzzy when I watch this. Plus, I'm obsessed with weight-loss and exercise, so I feel good when I see others get into it as well. Plus, as a bonus- there is always at least one guy and one girl who end up SUPER-HOT at the end of the shot after they've lost 200 pounds. Gotta love that.
PROJECT RUNWAY-- Wednesdays 10/9 central starting Nov. 14, BRAVO
As you see, this one hasn't started back up yet, but I've been watching it for two seasons. It's a fashion design contest, and even if you don't have the slightest interest in fashion you will love to see all the drama go down. I love/hate the egos. Watch it!
I LOVE NEW YORK 2-- Mondays 9/8 central starting Oct. 8, VH1
Why do I watch this? I don't know. It must be the same reason that I watch ALL of the Reality TV garbage that VH1 spits out. I love Celebrity Fit Club, Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, The Surreal Life, Flavor of Love (which premieres in January, mind you). New York is crazy and completely a caricature of a person...but I love watching the madness. I just sit back and laugh. I can't wait for this season and for these assholes to make a completely mockery of love and relationships.
Now it is time for shows that are new in my viewing repertoire or are "new to me" as they say:
KID NATION-- Wednesdays, 8/7 central, CBS
If you are not watching this, you should. It was very controversial before it aired because of issues with the children being supervised and such. Basically they took 40 kids (ages 8-15) and the kids are building a community together in an abandoned town called Bonanza City. It's adorable. The kids do "confessionals" and they say the most hilarious things. I have a favorite kid already- he's a funny little Jewish kid named Jared. And it's actually inspiring to see kids coming together and making good choices with all of the poor choices that I see kids making day-to-day.
THE HILLS-- Mondays, 10/9 central, MTV
Why is anyone watching this show? I watched it twice and I felt like I may have lost a few IQ points. If you are watching this show- STOP IMMEDIATELY.
Now, a preview of a show that I am SO excited about I can't hardly stand it:
AMERICA'S MOST SMARTEST MODEL-- Sundays 9/8 central starting Oct. 7, VH1
Now THIS is going to be great. I'm not really even sure what the gist of the show is- but I know that Ben Stein is hosting it and they are going to make supermodels look REALLY STUPID. And I'm all about that.
And that's it folks- my Reality on the Real for the week. If you made it all the way through, you should get a prize. Now that I've introduced you to all of my favorite reality trash, I'll keep you posted on the good, bad, and ugly of each show.
Actually, can we do a poll? Leave a comment with your vote--
WORST REAL WORLD CAST EVER:
A) Season 17- Key West
B) Season 16- Austin
C) Season 15- Philadelphia
Vote or die. Hugs.
Wizard of Awesome
P.S. I hope this entry was better than the one about my dog shitting and puking
The Dog Days of Summer...
I was going to blog today. My first official blog for the exciting new site.And it was going to be brilliant, I'm sure of it. But alas, when I arrived home from working out at about 4 p.m., I discovered...
...that my dog had shit and puked all over our apartment, including in the bed. I counted 12 spots of vomit and/or shit.
After investigation, we have no idea what was the cause of the bodily fluid explosion. The case remains unsolved.
So, after cleaning up the mess and tossing my own cookies once, I don't have time for the blog I intended to post.
I might kill my dog tonight.
Hugs.
Wizard of Awesome
...that my dog had shit and puked all over our apartment, including in the bed. I counted 12 spots of vomit and/or shit.
After investigation, we have no idea what was the cause of the bodily fluid explosion. The case remains unsolved.
So, after cleaning up the mess and tossing my own cookies once, I don't have time for the blog I intended to post.
I might kill my dog tonight.
Hugs.
Wizard of Awesome
Mainland Blogging
NOTE: I first wrote this blog whilst on the mainland. However, because of forces out of my hands, I was unable to post it until now. I'm leaving the blog as it was written...just so you all know, I'm currently in Hawaii.
Hello, Gentle Readers. My name is Tanya. I know my profile says that I already live in Hawaii, but it’s a bit of a lie of convenience, in that I didn’t want to waste the energy redoing my location once I move (in 11 days). So, right now, I’m sitting in the café that’s just down the way from my apartment in Chicago. It’s a really beautiful day. You can tell that everyone is trying to soak it in as much as possible because in about 2 weeks it’s going to be cold. And it will only get colder for the next 6 months. And then, just when you think it should be warm (because baseball has started), Chicago will get one last push from winter, and then for 2 months it will be cold. However, during that bleak period, I will be surfing in Hawaii. Suck it, bitches!
You bitches sucking it aside, I’m blogging for an important reason. There’s been an influx of girls from small towns to the Windy City in recent months. And, I want to share with them some very important information. I’ve lived in Chicago for over a year and a half now, and I’ve done my fair share of dating (some may say it’s not even a fair share). This blog is going to let you in on a crucial statistic that I’ve noticed in my time here: The ratio of hot guys to hot girls in this city is severely skewed to the guys’ side. Now, most of you might say that this should be a good thing. It should not warrant a blog of warning. And, when I first moved up here, I thought the same thing. Oh how wrong I was.
You know how you sometimes see those couples who seem really mismatched? Normally, it some fugly guy with a smoking hot lady (I use the term lady in the loosest sense of the word). And we all know why she’s with him: He’s got a great personality … and a big fat bank account. Well, in this city, you often see the mismatched couples of the other kind. Some tall, dark, handsome (or blonde, blue-eyed gorgeous Adonis, whatever your preference) guy will have a short, chubby, annoying broad (probably wearing a scrunchie) on his arm. How can this be? Well, firstly, it’s the above-mentioned skewing. The guys have looked around them and seen that the pickings are slim (or chubby).
But, please don’t feel sorry for these hot guys. Oh no. You see, after they looked around to see that in Chicago men are the fairer sex, these guys all became giant assholes. They can see that they are in high demand. And, just like marginally attractive guys who find themselves dating goddesses do everything in their power to keep said trophy, the girls in that role do the same. And, of course that behavior includes giving the prettier partner whatever they want and looking the other way when they cheat with an attractive person. So, the guys here have learned that if the girl they’re with doesn’t grovel at their feet, there’s ten more marginally attractive girls waiting who will.
Now, I try to be a proactive person. If I can identify a problem, I need to find a way to fix it. As a one-woman crusade, I’ve already started trying to fix the guys in Chicago. And, those of you who are sick of all the Chads and their older, suburban counterparts, feel free to pick up where I leave off. My first step is to give as good as I get. I just keep in mind that if this guy is a jerk (or boring or too egotistical or too much of any other reason why I’ve let a Chicago guy go), there are 20 better ones just around the corner. Turn the loser loose and get ready for the next Midwestern guy.
The second step requires a little bit of math. Remember those Venn diagrams we had to do in high school? Well, let’s put them to use! It’s time to be picky, ladies. The guys in this city have had that luxury for far too long. There are a million hot guys in this city. And there are a million fun guys in this city. And, there are many who fit into both categories. I’ve decided to focus on the ones who straddle the line. That has automatically cut out a huge portion of jerks. You see, while these pink Polo collar-popping douches think that they’re the life of the party, with their aviator shades on inside the club, they’re really very boring. They generally don’t have anything interesting to say, and can be easily distracted by video golf or punching bag machines. I’ve been cocktailing in a sports bar downtown for the better part of my Chicago stay, and I’ve learned how to sniff out a Chad at 50 paces. They’re going to be used to girls falling all over them. They’ll get crazy defensive when they discover you’re not one of them. Don’t back down. Call them on all of their shit in front of their friends. The strangest thing is that they seem to expect it. It’s as if they can’t believe how much crap women put up with from them. And, even stranger, some of them even enjoy being treated like dirt by a woman. A lesson for another blog that I’ve learned: Nice guys want you to treat them like you’re they’re mom; assholes like to be treated like they’re assholes.
Alright, now that you’ve gotten away from the Chads by throwing a tennis ball for them to fetch, keep an eye out for the attractive guy who’s also smart. They’re actually crawling all over this city. With so many improv opportunities, a lot of guys have a great sense of humor. And, with so many music venues, there are a lot with a broad range of tastes. Also, Chicago seems to be the first career stop after college, so there are educated, working guys walking around right under our noses. And, it takes a while for the transplants to catch on that they are in the deep end of the looks pool. So, if you can nab one of those, you’ll have a lot less work cut out for you…in this blog’s vein anyway. Who knows what other ways they’re screwed up. You’ll have to find some girl blogging about the guys from the transplant’s hometown.
Well, I think I’ve said all I want to for now on that subject. Also, I’m out of tea, and my scone is long gone, so I should get out of the café. My next blog will probably be written on a beach in Hawaii. Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be reviewing beaches. Yes, Chicago has beaches. There are places where you can stand on the lake shore and not see land on 3 sides of you. Beaches: I’ve never been to North Beach, but I have a feeling it’s full of Trixies and Chads. Leone Beach on Sheridan and Touhy is nice, and very roomy. Jarvis Beach has a lot of rocks, but it’s small, and generally never crowded.
Mahalo.
Hello, Gentle Readers. My name is Tanya. I know my profile says that I already live in Hawaii, but it’s a bit of a lie of convenience, in that I didn’t want to waste the energy redoing my location once I move (in 11 days). So, right now, I’m sitting in the café that’s just down the way from my apartment in Chicago. It’s a really beautiful day. You can tell that everyone is trying to soak it in as much as possible because in about 2 weeks it’s going to be cold. And it will only get colder for the next 6 months. And then, just when you think it should be warm (because baseball has started), Chicago will get one last push from winter, and then for 2 months it will be cold. However, during that bleak period, I will be surfing in Hawaii. Suck it, bitches!
You bitches sucking it aside, I’m blogging for an important reason. There’s been an influx of girls from small towns to the Windy City in recent months. And, I want to share with them some very important information. I’ve lived in Chicago for over a year and a half now, and I’ve done my fair share of dating (some may say it’s not even a fair share). This blog is going to let you in on a crucial statistic that I’ve noticed in my time here: The ratio of hot guys to hot girls in this city is severely skewed to the guys’ side. Now, most of you might say that this should be a good thing. It should not warrant a blog of warning. And, when I first moved up here, I thought the same thing. Oh how wrong I was.
You know how you sometimes see those couples who seem really mismatched? Normally, it some fugly guy with a smoking hot lady (I use the term lady in the loosest sense of the word). And we all know why she’s with him: He’s got a great personality … and a big fat bank account. Well, in this city, you often see the mismatched couples of the other kind. Some tall, dark, handsome (or blonde, blue-eyed gorgeous Adonis, whatever your preference) guy will have a short, chubby, annoying broad (probably wearing a scrunchie) on his arm. How can this be? Well, firstly, it’s the above-mentioned skewing. The guys have looked around them and seen that the pickings are slim (or chubby).
But, please don’t feel sorry for these hot guys. Oh no. You see, after they looked around to see that in Chicago men are the fairer sex, these guys all became giant assholes. They can see that they are in high demand. And, just like marginally attractive guys who find themselves dating goddesses do everything in their power to keep said trophy, the girls in that role do the same. And, of course that behavior includes giving the prettier partner whatever they want and looking the other way when they cheat with an attractive person. So, the guys here have learned that if the girl they’re with doesn’t grovel at their feet, there’s ten more marginally attractive girls waiting who will.
Now, I try to be a proactive person. If I can identify a problem, I need to find a way to fix it. As a one-woman crusade, I’ve already started trying to fix the guys in Chicago. And, those of you who are sick of all the Chads and their older, suburban counterparts, feel free to pick up where I leave off. My first step is to give as good as I get. I just keep in mind that if this guy is a jerk (or boring or too egotistical or too much of any other reason why I’ve let a Chicago guy go), there are 20 better ones just around the corner. Turn the loser loose and get ready for the next Midwestern guy.
The second step requires a little bit of math. Remember those Venn diagrams we had to do in high school? Well, let’s put them to use! It’s time to be picky, ladies. The guys in this city have had that luxury for far too long. There are a million hot guys in this city. And there are a million fun guys in this city. And, there are many who fit into both categories. I’ve decided to focus on the ones who straddle the line. That has automatically cut out a huge portion of jerks. You see, while these pink Polo collar-popping douches think that they’re the life of the party, with their aviator shades on inside the club, they’re really very boring. They generally don’t have anything interesting to say, and can be easily distracted by video golf or punching bag machines. I’ve been cocktailing in a sports bar downtown for the better part of my Chicago stay, and I’ve learned how to sniff out a Chad at 50 paces. They’re going to be used to girls falling all over them. They’ll get crazy defensive when they discover you’re not one of them. Don’t back down. Call them on all of their shit in front of their friends. The strangest thing is that they seem to expect it. It’s as if they can’t believe how much crap women put up with from them. And, even stranger, some of them even enjoy being treated like dirt by a woman. A lesson for another blog that I’ve learned: Nice guys want you to treat them like you’re they’re mom; assholes like to be treated like they’re assholes.
Alright, now that you’ve gotten away from the Chads by throwing a tennis ball for them to fetch, keep an eye out for the attractive guy who’s also smart. They’re actually crawling all over this city. With so many improv opportunities, a lot of guys have a great sense of humor. And, with so many music venues, there are a lot with a broad range of tastes. Also, Chicago seems to be the first career stop after college, so there are educated, working guys walking around right under our noses. And, it takes a while for the transplants to catch on that they are in the deep end of the looks pool. So, if you can nab one of those, you’ll have a lot less work cut out for you…in this blog’s vein anyway. Who knows what other ways they’re screwed up. You’ll have to find some girl blogging about the guys from the transplant’s hometown.
Well, I think I’ve said all I want to for now on that subject. Also, I’m out of tea, and my scone is long gone, so I should get out of the café. My next blog will probably be written on a beach in Hawaii. Oh yeah, I’m supposed to be reviewing beaches. Yes, Chicago has beaches. There are places where you can stand on the lake shore and not see land on 3 sides of you. Beaches: I’ve never been to North Beach, but I have a feeling it’s full of Trixies and Chads. Leone Beach on Sheridan and Touhy is nice, and very roomy. Jarvis Beach has a lot of rocks, but it’s small, and generally never crowded.
Mahalo.
Introducing...
So, here we are- four lovely ladies who like to share our stories, adages, and opinions with all of the online community. What brings us together is a common bond of being from a small town that you probably haven't heard of and now living in a major U.S. city. If you have never made this journey, believe us- it's a hell of a transition. And we'd like to share it with you.
Please join us as we blog our tiny, black, little hearts out, and give us feedback. You are able to comment on all of our entries, and we would love to hear from you.
Hugs,
Vexed in the City Girls
GLORY DAYS:
Please join us as we blog our tiny, black, little hearts out, and give us feedback. You are able to comment on all of our entries, and we would love to hear from you.
Hugs,
Vexed in the City Girls
THE BASICS:
Name: Tanya Chase
Handle: Nothing Special
Age: 26
Location: Honolulu, HI
Occupation: Beach Bum
Relationship Status: Single
College attended: Texas A&M University-Commerce
GLORY DAYS:
Hometown: Gainesville, TX
High school attended: Gainesville High School
High school mascot: Leopard
Number in graduating class: 156
What you were voted in high school: Sadly, nothing
SMALL-TOWN FAVORITES:
Favorite movie portraying the small-town way of life: Waitress
Favorite song about the small-town way of life: Heartbreak Town by the Dixie Chicks
Favorite small-town food: Mild Bean Burrito from Taco Casa (There’s only like 5 and my hometown has one)
Favorite thing about small towns: Leaving them
RUN-OF-THE-MILL FAVORITES:
Favorite Book: The Red Tent by Anita Diamante
Favorite Movie: Steel Magnolias, Closer
Favorite Song: To Make You Feel My Love by Bob Dylan
Favorite TV Show: LOST and Scrubs
ADD ONS FOR NO EXTRA CHARGE:
What subject you consider yourself to be an expert in: Getting bums to leave me alone
What has changed most about you since moving to the city: I drink a lot more. And, I’m a lot tougher
The most valuable skill perfected in your hometown: Gossipmongering
What irritates you more than anything: People who think they’re better than they are
(ie, Trixies and Chads)
Your personal hero: My parents
What you are probably most known for in your hometown: Leaving it
THE BASICS:
Name: Lindsay Oyler
Handle: Wizard of Awesome
Age: 25
Location: Chicago, IL
Occupation: Sales on the Mag Mile
Relationship Status: Engaged
College attended: Texas A&M University- Commerce
GLORY DAYS:
Hometown: Coffeyville, KS
High school attended: Field Kindley High School
High school mascot: Golden Tornado
Number in graduating class: 161
What you were voted in high school: Most Likely To Succeed, Class Clown, Snowball Queen, Homecoming Queen
SMALL-TOWN FAVORITES:
Favorite movie portraying the small-town way of life: Footloose
Favorite song about the small-town way of life: Friends in Low Places
Favorite small-town food: Beenie-weenies, Spam sandwiches
Favorite thing about small towns: Getting anywhere you need to in 2 minutes
RUN-OF-THE-MILL FAVORITES:
Favorite Book: Freakonomics, Roots
Favorite Movie: The Jerk
Favorite Song: Lovely Day by Bill Withers
Favorite TV Show: Intervention, 30 Rock
ADD ONS FOR NO EXTRA CHARGE:
What subject you consider yourself to be an expert in: Dieting
What has changed most about you since moving to the city: Views on politics and religion
The most valuable skill perfected in your hometown: Partying on a back country road or in a pasture while eluding the police, and I must say- working hard and shopping cheap
What irritates you more than anything: Sluts and superficiality
Your personal hero: She-Ra Princess of Power, Tina Fey
What you are probably most known for in your hometown: Getting a DUI when I turned 16 and singing at church (ironic, I know)
THE BASICS:
Name: Deanna Lynn Riggs
Handle: Deanimal
Age: 23.5
Location: Manhattan, New York
Occupation: Casting/Writing/Directing
Relationship Status: Taken
College attended: Coffeyville Community College, Webster University
GLORY DAYS:
Hometown: Garnett, KS
High school attended: Anderson County High
High school mascot: Bulldog
Number in graduating class: 68
What you were voted in high school: Class Clown and believe it or not-- Class Historian
SMALL-TOWN FAVORITES:
Favorite movie portraying the small-town way of life: Pleasantville
Favorite song about the small-town way of life: Omaha by The Counting Crows
Favorite small-town food: Broasted Chicken
Favorite thing about small towns: Fresh air!
RUN-OF-THE-MILL FAVORITES:
Favorite Book: What's the Matter with Kansas?
Favorite Movie: Reality Bites
Favorite Song: ANYTHING by the Counting Crows or Ben Folds
Favorite TV Show: Late Night with Conan O'Brien
ADD ONS FOR NO EXTRA CHARGE:
What subject you consider yourself to be an expert in: Screenwriting
What has changed most about you since moving to the city: I'm in a little better shape because I don't own a car and walk EVERYWHERE!
The most valuable skill perfected in your hometown: Work ethic! My parents put me to work at their restaurant (The Sherwood Inn) when I was 13, I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
What irritates you more than anything: When girls who are my age refer to me as "sweetie," like I'm somehow beneath them.
Your personal hero: Michael Moore…yep I said it!
What you are probably most known for in your hometown: My recent appearance on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" where I played a waitress in a commercial for my family's restaurant "The Sherwood Inn." What
most people probably don't know is...
I wrote, directed and produced the
project. To find out what I'm talking about,
click the link below and you can see for yourself!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eRRBz2f1vpw
THE BASICS:
Name: Jessica Williams
Handle: Perplexedica
Age: 28
Location: Dallas, TX
Occupation: Training and Recruiting
Relationship Status: Single
College attended: Texas A&M University
GLORY DAYS:
Hometown: Sterling City, Texas
High school attended: Sterling City High School
High school mascot: Golden Eagle
Number in graduating class: 29
What you were voted in high school: Most Talented, Most Beautiful Runner-up
SMALL-TOWN FAVORITES:
Favorite movie portraying the small-town way of life:
Favorite song about the small-town way of life:
Favorite small-town food: Chicken Fried Steak
Favorite thing about small towns: Everyone knows everything about everyone
RUN-OF-THE-MILL FAVORITES:
Favorite Book: Marley and Me
Favorite Movie: Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Favorite Song: Please, like I can choose one
Favorite TV Show: Arrested Development
ADD ONS FOR NO EXTRA CHARGE:
What subject you consider yourself to be an expert in:
What has changed most about you since moving to the city: My materialistic way of life. Oh...and not wearing camel-toe rockies.
The most valuable skill perfected in your hometown: Working hard, breaking a sweat and caring about the product those two produce
What irritates you more than anything: Big town-traffic. Small town-inability to do anything faster than a snail's pace
Your personal hero:
What you are probably most known for in your hometown: Living in Dallas, making money, not having babies, yet. Hell. Not having a boyfriend, yet.
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