Fuck Chivalry- even DECENCY is dead

Women often discuss the age-old subject of chivalry and whether it is still alive and well in our D-BAG-filled, stripper-loving world. I never have really questioned it myself though- the guys that I try to surround myself with are very chivalrous and take good care of me. I am particular about the men that I hang out with because I am a bit of a feminist and I like men that treat me as an equal in conversation. And the men that I surround myself with (for the most part) are great. I hate chauvinism and they know this. BUT, "my men" are not ones that would ever stand to see a woman mistreated and certainly wouldn't mistreat her themselves.

But since I have been in Chi-Town I have witnessed two travesties that make me wonder not only about the existence of chivalry in our male-counterparts, but DECENCY. Let me paint the two situations for you. (Please read on. Trust me- you'll be APPALLED):


SITUATION ONE------------

So, about a month ago I was on the El. It was REALLY crowed and we were downtown. I was wearing my headphones, but I took them off as I heard yelling about 15 feet away in the same car. What I saw was a medium-sized black man pushing a thin older white woman off of her seat. Pushing her. Seriously. And he was screaming "Get off my mo' fuckin' DOG!" over and over.

It seemed that what had happened was that the man had his dog in a small pet carrier and had set it in the seat beside him (which is not allowed, you are supposed to hold your items in your lap) and the woman had, sort of, perched herself on the edge of the seat holding the dog (the train was really crowded, everyone was standing, the dog wasn't supposed to be there, and there was PLENTY of room for her to do that. She WAS NOT sitting on his "mo' fuckin' dog").

Well, the man DID NOT like this, and just kept screaming at her. Then he tried to push her off the seat. I gotta hand it to the woman though- she held her ground. She held on the to seat and handles and wouldn't budge. But he kept pushing her and pushing her. I seriously thought I was going to see a woman get punched in the face that day. Her friend was standing near her and was yelling at the man to stop. He stood up and got in the friend's face and threatened her.

So what made this situation so crazy? NOT ONE MAN SAID OR DID ANYTHING. Seriously. The train was probably half-full of men, and none of them stopped this man from physically assaulting these two women. None of these men even said one word. NOT ONE.

And, as any of these other girls can attest to, it was IMPOSSIBLE for any of the women on the train to do anything at all. I would have loved to rip this guy a new one and then beat the shit out of him. But, I'm a small woman, and for me to even SAY ANYTHING to this guy would have been very dangerous. He was pushing a woman, I SERIOUSLY DOUBT he would have any qualms with punching a woman either.

So, me and the other women on the train all sat....silent and helpless. And it sucks. Where were the men at in this situation and how could they allow this to go on?

The "friend" finally called the police, and I didn't get to see how it all got resolved because I had to get off the train. It was truly sad.


SITUATION TWO--------------


Just three days ago I was on the El again and got on the train downtown. As soon as I got on I could tell that something wasn't right in the car. I saw this-again- medium-sized black man ranting loudly and everyone else sort of looking away uncomfortably. But, really, that's not uncommon to see on the train. As long as he's ranting about nothing and not hurting anyone- people usually leave guys like this alone (right Nothing Special?). But apparently this wasn't the situation.

Next to him, turned away, were two Asian girls standing and one of them was crying. Then, a girl nearby quietly filled me in on the situation: apparently one of the Asian girls had tried to sit down next to him and he said "You can't sit here you Chinese bitch" and proceeded to go on a huge rant about how this "wasn't her country". But it didn't stop there. While I was standing there he started to yell that he was going to put his "dick in her mouth" and other really awesomely obscene things. Then he proceeded to verbally attack a few other women on the train and pretty soon he was yelling disgusting shit at about 5 women.

But, again, me and the other women silently took it. Why? Because if we would have said anything we would have been endangering ourselves.

Again, though, I ask--WHERE ARE THE MEN? There were several men on this train. Big guys that could have easily intimidated him. They couldn't even look for a CTA official to get the guy kicked off the train? Really? These men let this man degrade and assault 5 women on this train without speaking a word. Disgusting. I was almost in tears listening to the guy because I was so angry that I couldn't do anything about it.

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Now, let me state for the record that I understand men not wanting to get involved in a confrontation. My fiance' is the KING of not wanting to get in a confrontation. When trouble arises he is the first to "get the hell outta Dodge." And while I'm glad that he's smart and avoids trouble whenever possible...at times I wish that he and other men could assume the "protector" role more often.

I mean, could you even IMAGINE either of these situations taking place in, say, the 50or 60s? They would have never happened because the men on the train would have come to the rescue of the women being attacked. I guess it's a different world now. And while I like it that women now are more respected and treated as equals (rather than in the 50s and 60s), we still have to admit that we are physically inferior for the most part. We are the more emotional sex. We are the physically smaller and weaker sex. And I'm okay with that because I think that we (at least most of us) are emotionally strong, thick-skinned, and resilient....

...But we cannot defend ourselves in all situations. And I would love to see men step up to the plate more often.


Emotionally,

The Wiz